George Tannenbaum on the future of advertising, the decline of the English Language and other frivolities. 100% jargon free. A Business Insider "Most Influential" blog.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
A pharma commercial of the future.
Now that the pharma industry spends more on marketing than on R&D, I thought we could take a brief look into Ad Aged's exclusive crystal ball and see what's coming.
We are on the porch of a Victorian home, a distinguished older man and his still pretty wife are each sitting in classic Adirondack chairs.
MAN: June and I are in our golden years, but we still enjoy life.
WOMAN: Biking, gardening, going to yard sales.
MAN: Holding our arms out and spinning in a field of high grass.
WOMAN: And of course, playing with our genetically-modified grandchildren.
They laugh. ECU gentle hand caress.
MAN: Then one day I woke up and I couldn't fa-shizzle my nizzle.
WOMAN: His nizzle was important to both of us, and without its fa-shizzle...
MAN: So, I asked my doctor about FaShiNutroXine.
WOMAN: FaShiNutroXine.
MAN: My doctor said FaShiNutroXine could put the fa-shizzle back in my nizzle. Though side effects sometimes include goiters, corns, barking like a hyena, projectile vomiting and projectile diarrhea. If your fa shizzle is nizzled for over four hours, call your doctor. See our ad in the Saturday Evening Post.
WOMAN: FaShiNutroXine.
MAN: Ask your doctor. And get the fa-shizzle back in your nizzle.
WOMAN: And the fo' sheezy back in yo' neezy.
They lean back and laugh heartily, again caressing each other's hands.
As my kids commented once: It must be cool to be sick. they all look so happy.
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