Ad Aged: CVO. Pardon my ignorance, but what does that stand for? Chief Value Officer?
CVO: Value? Ha! CVO stands for Chief Vomit Officer.
Ad Aged: Chief Vomit Officer? That's absolutely vile. What is it that you do?
CVO: Well, indirectly, I test the mettle of the people working for the agency. I'm here to see if they can come through in a pinch.
Ad Aged: Please explain.
CVO: It's pretty simple really what a CVO does. I talk an excessively big game and I am therefore given major assignment after major assignment.
Ad Aged: And then?
CVO: And then, I do nothing. I don't create, I don't do any work. I show up to meetings late or not at all.
Ad Aged: So, get to the Vomit part.
CVO: Basically, when I'm through, where the assignment used to be, I leave a steaming pile of vomit. A crisis. A problem. A panic. And then I spring into action and...
Ad Aged: And...
CVO: And I disappear. I'm at a luncheon, or a client, or an edit suite.
Ad Aged: I see. That's all very....
CVO: Listen, I have a very simple slogan that describes my modus operandi.
Ad Aged: And that is....
CVO: "If I don't shirk, you'll have no work."
Ad Aged: Thank you for that.
CVO: I'd love to go on talking. But I have work I have to avoid.