7. T. Snavely Pilkington, $3,452,188. Pilkington has his four personal assistants remove all ads from all media he sees. They even stand in front of his TV during commercial breaks.
6. Ersatz Mergatroid, $3,659,008. Mergatroid has been with Holdingcom.com since it was a bait and tackle shop in Coventry. He has yet to meet a creative person.
5. Lazslo J. Tupperware, $3,882,989. As head of legal affairs, Tupperware has had many legal affairs.
4. H. Robert Hrobertson, $4,008,210. Board member for three decades, Hrobertson once said the word ‘mechanical,’ but that was in 1977.
3. Elmer Prettywillie, $4,222,208. Prettywillie famously said at ‘UnSeen2016,’ a conference on interactive advertising, “The effectiveness of ads that never ran is declining.”
2. Ambroze Sniggot, $9,459,775. Global Worldwide Director of Worldwide Global Insight Experiential Activation, Sniggot speaks no discernible language.
1. Trapeze Hiwire, $21,989,002. Fully half of Hiwire’s compensation is compensation for being compensated.