Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Nobody Asked Me But…Late July edition.

Nobody Asked Me But…is my every-so-often tribute to the great New York sportswriter, Jimmy Cannon. Cannon was something of a workaholic—he wrote his sports column seven days a week. When he couldn’t come up with a topic for a column, he’d write a miscellany. A hodgepodge of random observations way better than these...

Nobody Asked Me But…

…I’ve yet to see how “enabling cookies” gives me a better website experience.

…Tuning into the Fox network is a racist act. In the 21st Century, it’s like eating at a segregated lunch counter was in the 1960s.

…Is there any automobile manufacturer not currently having a “summer event”?

…Likewise, does every automobile manufacturer over-use the word “adrenaline”?

…I wish the Pentagon were inscribed with the perfect words of Bertold Brecht: “Peace is a Waste of Equipment.”

…If you ever find yourself doubting the power of semantics, consider that the “Department of Defense” used to be called the “War Department.”

…Even if Equifax gave me their entire $700 million settlement, I still wouldn’t like them.

…I can say the same about Facebook’s $5 billion settlement.

…And the eventual Purdue and J&J pharmaceutical settlements.

…What I’d really like to know is who actually gets the money.

...I know it ain't me.

…I’m more than a little surprised that Dunkin’ Donuts is selling an “impossible” meat sandwich. Dunkin’ is hardly the place I’d go to for healthy eating.

…I wonder what would have happened if years ago one agency CEO said “open plan is stupid” and kept individual offices.

...It would probably be the world's hottest agency today.

…I don’t think I could ever feel comfortable wearing a Hawaiian-print shirt.

…Though I would like to be in Hawaii.

…I know it was a big deal, but I’m tired of hearing about the 1969 moon landing.

…Trump’s attempt to undercount the 2020 census makes me think of James Madison’s three-fifths law. Why fully count people who don't count?

…I’m a bit surprised no one’s turned the word “Warby” into a verb. 

…When a company like Chevron promotes that it spends “$100 million” on research, do they expect no one to know that they take in revenue of almost $160 billion?

…I don’t trust any company that uses the phrase “take it to the next level” in advertising.

…Likewise, I trust no one who actually says, “Booyah.”

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