The Corona Virus Diary of Garry Veevee.

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5:00-5:30	Morning tweet time. Wash hands to crush germs paying particular attention to crushing germs on my tweeting thumbs.
5:30-6:00	Have unpaid intern put sterile gloves onto previously sanitized hands.
6:00-6:30	Commence sending out 321 tweets titled “Hustling can crush Corona Virus.”
6:30-7:00	Produce, distribute and syndicate video on ‘hustling Covid-19 up to Covid-44.’
7:00-7:30	Produce, distribute and syndicate video on “Wines to pair with the Corona Virus.”
7:30-8:00	Spray Garry Veevee inspirational kicks with Covid-19 repellent.
8:00-8:30	Wash Garry Veevee inspirational socks with Covid-19 repellent Veevee-woolite.
8:30-9:00	Cough into Garry Veevee inspirational elbow.
9:00-9:30	Have unpaid intern change shirt with coughed-on inspirational elbow.
10:00-10:30	Re-wash hands to crush germs paying particular attention to crushing germs on my Lloyd’s of London-insured tweeting thumbs.
10:30-11:00	Produce, distribute and syndicate video on the Garry Veevee “Covid Experience.”
11:00-11:30	Dude.
11:30-12:00	Produce, distribute and syndicate video on Garry Veevee’s patent-pending “Hand ‘Man-itizer” specially formulated to kill 41% of the germs that cause Covid-19.
12:00-12:02	Power Lunch.
12:02-12:30	Power hand-washing with power unpaid intern.
12:30-1:00	Develop reality TV show, “Low-Bid Covid.” Host auctions off Garry Veevee Hand ‘Man-itizer’ to worldwide TV audience.
1:00-1:30	Send out 81 tweets on buying the Jets in the age of Corona Virus.
1:30-2:00	Introduce new character to world-famous Garry Veevee comic strip, “Cyrus Virus.”
2:00-2:30	Write script featuring Cyrus Virus character: Cyrus crushes lung fibrosis.
2:30-3:00	IDEA: Garry Veevee signature "Crush Tush" toilet paper.
3:00-3:30	Do something earnest.
3:30-4:00	Crush earnestness.
4:00-4:30	Crush unpaid earnest intern.
4:30-5:00	Produce, distribute and syndicate video urging millions and millions of followers to be safe out there.
5:00-5:30	Send out 10 four-minute videos on “Crushing Corona” in just 28 minutes.
5:30-6:00	If you don’t understand TikTok you don’t understand Covid-19.
6:00-6:30	Produce, distribute and syndicate video on how Garry Veevee is even more viral than viruses.
6:30-7:00	Consider new personal tagline: “Garry Veevee, the original virus.”
7:00-7:30	Bring in nine more earnest unpaid interns to wash Garry Veevee signature hands before dinner.
7:30-8:00	Produce, distribute and syndicate video on Garry Veevee’s signature hand-washing style.
8:00-8:03	Power dinner.
8:03-8:07	Power belching.
8:07-9:00	Wash Garry Veevee signature hands after dinner while introducing Garry Veevee’s signature sink made by Kohler.
9:00-9:30	Dry hands with Garry Veevee’s signature terry cloth towel.
9:30-10:00	Produce, distribute and syndicate video about how to beat Corona Virus—Jab, Jab, Jab, Right hook!
10:00-10:30	Produce, distribute and syndicate video about changing name of CDC to CGVee.
10:30-11:00	Wash left hand pinkie finger through middle finger.
11:00-11:30	Wash left hand index finger through thumb.
11:30-12:00	Repeat with right hand.