“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”

...Or near strangers.

Dear C___________,

Thank you.

I know we worked at the same agency almost 15 years ago, but I really can't remember having had any substantive conversations. I'm not really too much of a snob, but we were all younger 15 years ago. Even so, I was still old and probably dealt more with your boss, or boss' boss than I dealt with you.

Of course I remember your name. It's a funny name. But though we're zucker-connected and LinkedIn, I'm about 96-percent sure I couldn't pick you up out of a line-up.

It happens now and again, especially when I'm in New York, that I'm in a grocery store, or a restaurant, or walking somewhere and someone yells at me from afar. "George!" 

We start talking and if she's with me, my wife looks at me quizzically. When the someone leaves, my wife says, "who was that?" I usually compose myself for a moment then say something sagacious like, "I have no fucking clue."

C, you were one of those people. Sorry. It's true.

That said, thank you.

Thank you for referring a client to me.

At first I was dubious. As I said, I barely know you and hadn't heard of your client. But they turned out to be great.

I gave them a good proposal--expensive, but fair. They accepted it. No haggling. And they paid me fifty-percent upfront. A show of good faith.

They were good on the phone. Respectful of the work, my opinions and expertise and my time. They allowed--heaven forfend--a bit of kibbitzing. They didn't mind me being me. 

After the first round of work (of course, I over-delivered) they fairly applauded. Gave me cogent feedback--not twelve different tranches of feedback from nineteen different people at eleven different times--and then they paid me a second installment of twenty-five percent.

C, thank you.

You don't know how rare it is to have clients treat you with the same kindness and consideration you'd treat a plumber who comes into your home. The simple "value exchange" of, this plumber is a professional who deserves my respect is often missing. In fact, I have another client--one of the giant agency holding companies--who are 130-days late paying me and every time I ask where my money is, they concoct another device to blame the delay on. The last one made the least sense. They're waiting for the money to clear from their bank! Can you imagine saying that to Lily, the kid who babysat for you when your kids were small?

C, you're on staff, so you probably don't know how much running your own business depends upon, in Blanche DuBois' words from Tennessee Williams' "Streetcar Named Desire," "the kindness of strangers."

Running your own business depends upon the kindness of people you barely know. They're often people who without knowing when or how, you impressed somehow. Those are the people who refer you to people. That's often--even if you're a big agency--how you get business.

Of course, if you get three referrals a month, probably only one fully works out. That ratio probably sums up the calculus of life. But if you've played your cards right and you deliver the goods, that successful referral will get three more, in addition to the ones you get from your established network and your own new business efforts.

C, again, and I'm not laying it on thick, this is with all sincerity and gratitude, thank you.

Running an independent business is hard. Doing things counter to the status quo--the way others are doing them--is hard. Rolling the dice everyday in the hopes that revenue will materialize is an iffy proposition. And like most people, I wasn't born and I'm not endowed with a great sense of confidence.

Thank you for having confidence enough in me to give me a referral.

You also gave me hope.

xx