Can I Quote You?

I don’t think people or agencies should quote notable advertising people—like Bernbach or Ogilvy—if they don’t at least take a stab at abiding by their standards of work, or how people are treated or the ethics of business those two men believed in.

You shouldn’t cite someone’s words but ignore their intent. 

I recoil when I see Ogilvy, the entity, co-opting the words of their founder when there’s nothing of David’s ethos and beliefs at all remaining. To my eyes it’s like false patriots who wrap themselves in the flag and then trumpet patently unconstitutional and anti-amerikan beliefs. Or bible-thumpers who cherry-pick phrases from the book while abnegating its essential truths. As rabbi Hillel is said to have said regarding the Jewish Torah, “That which is hateful to you do not do to others. All the rest is commentary. Now go and learn.” 

But most of these people are hateful to anyone who isn’t like them and willing to broadcast their hate.

You can’t hide behind a cross one minute and then next hate and call people illegal because they look different.

To my eyes, perhaps the wisest of the Ogilvy-isms I’ve remembered and inculcated through the decades is this one (which I’ve rewritten slightly to un-genderize it.) 

“The consumer isn’t a moron. The consumer is your partner.”

(Not as good as the original. But this is a family blog.)

Maybe it’s a function of my advancing years, but today—in dozens and dozens of daily interactions—I contend that most marketers treat people as if they’re stupid. As if it’s ok to lie or hyperbolize. As if it’s ok to bait and switch.

One near constant instance of that is the evidence that most advertising is Smilist. It bludgeons us over the head with ridiculous grins telling us how happy we’ll be if we’d only use their product like their plasticene models do.

Never in my life have I grinned like an idiot while working with a friend/lover/co-worker/stranger at my non-branded computer. Have you ever smiled like this?

Likewise have you ever smiled like this while talking to a cable company? Especially one named SpeculumOne.

Unreality like this is the equivalent of treating people like they’re idiots. It’s like the kids coming home from school happy as cultists and screaming “Hot Pockets!!!"

These are three stills from horrible commercials with pretty smiling people gushing over drugs that can be deadly. The top one is about toe fungus. The middle for a weigh-loss drug. And the bottom for severe rheumatoid arthritis.

Smile!

SMILE!!! YOU HAVE CLAY-COLORED STOOLS!!!

We are also besieged with lies like these. Yes, ExxonMobil has transformed thousands of communities. Usually into uninhabitable toxic dumps.

We see ads like this every day.

We don’t throw bricks.

We also get hogwash like these examples. At almost every turn.

Over the weekend I was at an expensive Boston hotel. Their $700 nightly room rate included a “free breakfast buffet.” The free breakfast buffet included an 18% service  charge. Though we served ourselves.

Later on I paid for another meal, for my daughter and her family. I can only imagine how many discussions were had over adding the word “valued” next to the word “customer” on the line I have to sign. Is that how you show people they’re valued?

I’m stupid enough and old enough to hold onto the belief that for a communication to be effective it must be based on some sort of truth.

Today from casting on down, every ad, every commercial, every emotion portrayed feels as false and focused-grouped as a Maine senatorial candidate. Everything is packaged purportedly for maximum marketability but everything is a lie.

The people behind the counter at the QSR aren’t smiling.

The world won’t end because there are no more Doritos.

There are no un-trafficked roads in amerikkka built, it seems expressly for Buick commercials.

There are no phone companies that make things simple and charge the price they advertise.

Every knows these are all lies.

But the truth sucks.

So we tell lies.

Lies no one believes.

But they test well.