Thursday, June 26, 2008

Lincoln. Your grand-parents' luxury car.


Lincoln, a defunct auto brand, is running an advertising campaign that is colossal in its aggressive stupidity.

It seems they are attempting to revitalize the brand (have you ever been in a Lincoln other than a rickety Town Car with 325,000 miles on it and no suspension) by trumpeting a keyless entry system.

Wow! Keyless entry! That'll make me buy a dead brand rather than an Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Cadillac, Lexus, Acura, Infiniti, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, etc etc.

There's a compelling bit of copy for you, "Starships don't need keys." Does the use of the archaic word starship mean to imply this Lincoln can travel at warp speed? Or that its drivers have pointy ears?

Starships don't need keys, my ass.

You know what? Starships don't need internal combustion engines either.

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