To that end, I have hired (at a salary in the low seven-figures) an assistant editor. This was no easy task. This person had to have an outlook with insight--insight as benighted as mine. This person had to have the experience, the sagacity, the humor, the wit, the Shavian profundity coupled with Oscar Wilde's gift of the epigrammatic. This person also had to know the advertising industry.
After months of searching, I've found an assistant editor.
Here she is, my friends, the only candidate I could find to meet all those qualifications. The most qualified person for the job.

I'm pretty sure she used to be Neil French's assistant editor.
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