Decking halls.

It being mid-to-late November it seems that every third store in my neighborhood is garishized with Christmas sentiment--a sickly treacle that gives force to my natural misanthropy.

I walked by the windows of one such store this morning and was hit with window decals beseeching customers to deck the fucking halls. I immediately thought of the nonsense the great satirist Walt Kelly brought to these songs.

Lambert, Hendricks and Ross also had fun with Deck the Halls, above.

Deck Us All With Boston Charlie

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash, and Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,

Swaller dollar cauliflower Alleygaroo!
Don't we know archaic barrel,
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou.

Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola Boola Pensacoola Hullabaloo!

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Another version:

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker n too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope cantaloup, 'lope with you!

Hunky Dory's pop is lolly gaggin' on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!

Chollie's collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!
We also have this third version:

Duck us all in bowls of barley,
Ninky dinky dink an' polly voo!

Chilly Filly's name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, Woof, Woof!

Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, Goof, Goof!