Marlon and me.

Once again I am in a shitty mood.

I've been buffeted (that does not mean I'm eating at a buffet) by a battery of small thinking. We can't do x, y or z. That would be so much work. 

So we fold up our tent, shake our heads and, I suppose the mature amongst us, 'move on.'

I've been thinking, as I often do when I'm in a shitty mood of a dialogue between the Malloy brothers in "On the Waterfront."

Charlie (Rod Steiger): You're getting on. You're pushing 30. 
You know, it's time to think about getting some ambition. 
Terry (Marlon Brando): I always figured I'd live a bit longer without it. 

It seems to me that everyone these days is a bit like Terry Malloy. Punch drunk. Beaten. Sold out, taking dives for the "short end money."

I'll tell you something.

I'm not good at moving on.

I suck at it.

I don't like laziness, lethargy and lassitude.

I don't like people who can rationalize anything and therefore rationalize everything.

People who smile and say, "well, look on the bright side. We didn't sell our commercial--but we sold the idea of doing commercials."

That's bullshit.

That's an over-arching philosophy of under-achievement.

That's not maturity.

It's mediocrity.

I don't mind failing.

I do mind accepting it.