New titles.

I wrote a post last month called "De-Coding, Part 2." In it I imagined what would happen if agency titles encapsulated what agency people actually spend their days doing.

I sat in one of those long and unwieldy meetings today.

And I did some more thinking on the matter.

Here are some new titles I've come up with:

Chief Data Officer

Director of Data Sifting

Minutia Enlargement Sheriff
Serif Sheriff
Client Estrangement Officer

Punctuation Provisioner

Cliché Distribution Manager

Associate Director of Meetings

Curator of Disposable Trends

Powerpoint Illegibility Optimizer

Williamsburg Extrapolation Sommelier

Customer Journey Tour Guide

Director of Rounded Corners

Associate Director of Associate Directors

Ass-Embracement Manager

Chief Story-telling Officer
Director of Bullet Placement

Deck Construction Manager

Associate Director of Italics

General Manager/Distortion

Director of Ersatz Ideation

Chief Bombast Officer

Associate Director of Blathering

Obfuscation Ombudsman

Vice President/Second Guessing

Global Glibness Officer

Chief Chief Officer

Disambiguation Ambiguator

Community Infiltrator

Director of Hashtag

Social Media Medea

Financial Prevarication Associate

Director, Gouging

Confusion Coordinator

Panic Instigation Director

Generalized Anxiety Disorder Manager