42 Insults.

1. "Fine words! I wonder where you stole them." - Jonathon Swift

2. "What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement." -Fred Allen

3. "Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?"- Milton Berle

4. "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

5. "He is a self-made man & worships his creator." - John Bright

6. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

7. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

8. "She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and bymuch the same class of people." - Robertson Davies

9. "He was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met." - William Faulkner

10. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

11. "He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul." - David Lloyd George

12. "He has every attribute of a dog except loyalty." - Thomas P.Gore

13. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

14. "God was bored by him." - Victor Hugo

15. "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

16. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

17. "Her only flair is in her nostrils." - Pauline Kael

18. "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

19. "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."- Jack E. Leonard

20. "I wish I'd known you when you were alive." - Leonard LouisLevinson

21. "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

22. "His speeches left the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea." - William McAdoo (about Warren Harding)

23. "You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it." - Groucho Marx

24. "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception."- Groucho Marx

25. "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." -Groucho Marx

26. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."- Groucho Marx

27. "He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death." - H. H. Munro

28. "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

29. "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

30. "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." - James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

31. "He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one."- Earl of Rochester

32. "He has no more backbone than a chocolate eclair."- Theodore Roosevelt

33. "A little emasculated mass of inanity." - Theodore Roosevelt(about Henry James)

34. "You're a good example of why some animals eat their young."- Jim Samuels

35. "The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech." - George Bernard Shaw

36. "Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other." - Neil Simon

37. "Had double chins all the way down to his stomach." - Mark Twain

38. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

39. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -Mae West

40. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."- Oscar Wilde

41. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -Oscar Wilde

42. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder