The new George.

If you spend a minute a month on LinkedIn (and who doesn't) you'll shortly be besieged with about 72-thousand videos of people whose subsistence depends on making videos. 

These endlessly-long one-minute videos assault you with platitudes about the riches to be gained by churning out all-but-unwatchable videos on the riches to be gained by churning out all-but-unwatchable videos. 

I've suffered through a lot of these videos, not unlike a soldier during the Bataan Death March. My LinkedIn Content Death March lasts just 60 seconds or so, not 66 miles of the aforementioned, and though I'm usually seated in an expensive Aeron chair in patriarchy-ambient climate conditions, they are no-less-excruciating.

And they work.

Gary Vaynerchuk, spewing unshaven platitudes like a coked-out Hallmark card has millions of followers. And the winsome blonde, Shay Rowbottom (yes, that's her name) has been heralded by Shay Rowbottom as the next Gary Vaynerchuk, aka the male Shay Rowbottom. Here is one of Shay's videos.

So, today, marks my debut as an INFLUENZER--more than an influencer, I spew influence as viral as Influenza, ergo I am an INFLUENZER.

So here goes, a transcript of my first call-in show:

GEORGIE T: 
Hi, you're on the phone with Georgie T.

CALLER A:
No way!

GEORGIE T:
Yes way!!

CALLER A:
No way!!!

GEORGIE T:
Yes way!!!!

CALLER A:
Holy crap, you're like my, like my, like my...

GEORGIE T:
Don't even tell me anything. I know where you're at. Let me reimagine the reimagining of your life. You're probably going through a micro, macro, mucro issue. Amiright?

CALLER A:
Holy crap, no way, you like read my mind.

GEORGIE T:
Listen, this is about crushing it. You need to be fast, like fast fast. Mucro fast.

CALLER A:
No way.

GEORGIE T:
Yes way!!

You need to be fast. Go from 7AM to two in the morning every day. Nothing's going to happen if you don't make it happen. Make making things happen happen and things will start happening.

CALLER A:
No way, I'm going mucro. And I don't even know what it means!

GEORGIE T:
Yes way!!
--
And that, my friends, is why I'm not just an Influencer, I'm an INFLUENZER.