Friday, March 6, 2020

I wonder if it was bots.


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I wonder if it was bots behind open-plan offices. Bots behind Jan the Toyota woman. And bots behind the blonde Hyundai woman and bots behind the Chevy real people commercials and every automaker having another 'thon' every two weeks.I wonder if it was bots who concocted 5G, which I'm 97.9 percent sure will just leave us with faster dead-zones. Bots behind halving wages and doubling hours. I wonder if it was bots who created the title Chief Risk Officer and if it wasn’t bots, can a bot tell me what a Chief Risk Officer does for 1,875 hours a year. I wonder if it was bots who invented excel. If it was bots who decided job codes should be 16-digits long and not include the client’s actual name. I wonder if it was bots who decided a social tile that 12 people might see needs 32 people to approve it. I wonder if it was bots who decided that communication and connection would be improved now that everyone works wearing noise cancelling headphones. Bots who decided that we needed more people watching over the creatives than we have creatives. I wonder if it was bots who decided that using words like scrum was ok in mixed company. I wonder if it was bots who decided that everything was an experience and every experience was robust. I wonder if it was bots who decided that we’d all be a lot happier if everything you could possibly buy including fast-food hamburgers was made from recycled ocean plastic that only really removes less than
.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 percent of the actual plastic in the world. I wonder if it was bots that decided it was good for people to have 40 hours of meetings in a 40 hour week. I wonder if it was bots that decided that everything is due two hours after the briefing. I wonder if it was bots who thought it was smart to have no place quiet to sit and work or maybe talk to your partner. I wonder if it was bots who designed conference rooms to be windowless, airless and fluorescently lit. I wonder if it was bots who started mixing every tv commercial about 37 decibels too hot. Bots who decided that it was interesting to watch a commercial for a $60 thousand car that does nothing other than showing someone driving and emoting. I wonder if it was bots that keeps a desk phone on everyone's desk even though no one uses a desk phone. I wonder if it was bots who came up with the first 168-page deck. I wonder if it was bots who first started using the words curate, ideate and iterate. I wonder if it was bots that directed the first elderly actor in a pharma ad to stretch out her arms and spin around while standing in a wheat field. I wonder if it was bots that decided that the dream of every elderly person in every pharma ad is to push their grandchildren on the swings. I wonder if it was bots who started us believing that we should be influenced by people we don't know based on how they video themselves opening a box. I wonder if it was bots who made it all-too-typical to see your and you're and their, there and they're all virtually interchangeable. I wonder if it was bots that made Gary Vaynerchuk but mostly Gary Vaynerchuk's sneakers. I wonder if it was bots that convinced us that no one reads anymore even though my guess is that you read this and probably wish I had had the time to write even more or you have some ideas yourself about 32 million things that maybe bots are responsible for having done to us.

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