1.
16 different technologies that will change everything will wind up changing nothing.
2.
The consumer is in control like never before. And more and more people are opting in to waiting on-hold for three hours because their call is important, but not as important as exorbitant profits.
3.
The value of something having reached unprecedented highs will plummet.
4.
The value of something else, having no discernible marketing advantage or utility, will reach unprecedented heights.
5.
Something thought good for you will wind up being bad for you.
6.
Elon Musk will do something stupid and say something stupider.
7.
Every holding company will declare its dedication to inclusivity while making sure its management is paid well-enough to live in exclusive domains.
8.
97 ads that no one outside of the industry will ever see will win big at Cannes. The creatives on them will accept big jobs at new agencies and fail miserably because they don't do work for paying clients.
9.
There are no more paying clients.
10.
Goldfish will start saying pejoratives about other goldfish like, 'he has an attention span like a human.'
11.
Someone will quote Howard Luck Gossage.
12.
The wireless will go out.
13.
99.4% of all agencies will change their social-media avatars and quote Dr. King on Martin Luther King day.
14.
99.4% of all agencies will change their social-media avatars and publish a quote about love on Valentine's Day.
15.
Toyota and the Mattress Firm will be offering "I Cannot Tell a Lie" Presidential Savings.
16.
A fast-food company will put something that doesn't belong on a burger on a burger and get enormous attention from the 42 people who read Agency Spy.
17.
Donald Trump will do something stupid and say something stupider.
Donald Trump will do something stupid and say something stupider.
18.
A big event will happen that will change marketing forever.
19.
The in-control consumer is still on hold.
20.
Every holding company will report 'softening,' right after reporting record c-suite bonuses.
21.
Every holding company will find a way to make its workspaces less appealing. That will reduce their real-estate costs and will allow them to say that such reductions will make everyone more productive and will improve communication and creativity.
22.
A holding company CEO will announce from his home office that 'hybrid work is killing the industry.'
A holding company CEO will announce from his home office that 'hybrid work is killing the industry.'
23.
The new industry compensation standard will become Net Never.
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