44 Micro-Aggressions.

1. I see no reason for college sports.
   
   
2. I especially see no reason for college football coaches to be paid $7.9 million dollars.
   
   
3. If America really had separation of church and state, religious institutions would be taxed.
   
   
4. Related to that, so would billionaires. 
   
   
5. I happen to believe most societies fail or prosper according to the success of their tax policies. And their ability to exploit cheap labor.
   
   
6. When you work for a company, it seems to me the relationship between work and pay is broken. I'd restore that by paying people daily. In cash. For every hour they work.
   
   
7. Speaking of bans, if I had the power, I'd ban mylar balloons.
   
   
8. And Edible Arrangements. Both are horrible for the environment.
   
   
9. Listening to Trump, Haley, Johnson, McConnell or any of one thousand republicans I can't help but think of Mary McCarthy's line about Lillian Hellman: "every word she writes is a lie, including 'and' and 'the'."
   
   
10. And Adlai Stevenson's remark, "If republicans stop lying about me, I'll stop telling the truth about them."
    
    
11. I would like a TV with a dial and only seven channels. Modern TVs take more know-how than the programming you can access is worth.
    
    
12. I've never used and never will use the word "party" as a verb.
    
    
13. I don't miss Mitt Romney.
    
    
14. Mitt Romney as the conscience of the senate is like Nero as director of fire safety.
    
    
15. I think most purchases are made too soon.
    
    
16. Because most-consequences come too late.
    
    
17. Every sports season has 40-percent too many games. I'd be happier with a major league baseball season of just 100 games. If you can't decide who's best after 100 games, you're doing something wrong.
    
    
18. Any creative who introduces themselves as anything other than a writer or an art director is a fraud.
    
    
19. 'Smores are over-rated.
    
    
20. I've come to terms with smart friends talking about dumb reality TV. If I were on the Titanic, I'd have come to terms with being in a life raft, even if it leaked.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
21. Sheldon Leonard always makes me smile.
    
    
22. Joe Louis makes me proud to be a human.
    
    
23. No one was ever funnier than Gracie Allen.
    
    
24. The Maltese Falcon is an American apotheosis.
    
    
    
    
    
25. The world would be a better place if 24-hour news was 30-minutes and The New York Times was reduced to eight pages. I never will need articles like the three I pasted above.
    
    
26. Remember when companies were supposed to honestly list salaries in help-wanted ads in an effort to achieve pay equity? Why do they still have ranges between $68,000 and $272,500?
    
    
27. If a CEO makes 300X what the median employee makes, can their company still claim to believe in the E in DEI, that is, "equity"?
    
    
28. I'm so old, I still call aluminum foil "tin foil."
    
    
29. And if they still had it, I'd still save 'bakery string.'
    
    
30. I have also never used the word "curate."
    
    
31. Everyone has an agenda.
    
    
32. Especially people who claim no agenda.
    
    
33. When I was a kid, there was an asphalt plant near the Bronx Zoo. I think of gorillas and elephants whenever I smell boiling tar.
    
    
    
    
    
    
34. The prettiest girl I ever saw was drinking Hoffman's through a straw. 
    
    
35. Having an eidetic memory is having a disappointing life. I really do remember feeling rich with 85-cents in my pocket.
    
    
36. I wish Homer wrote more than two epics.
    
    
37. No, I don't mean Homer Simpson.
    
    
38. My Wilson A2000 baseball glove was stolen from my dorm room in Johnson Hall at Columbia University during a fire drill in late May, 1980. I'm still looking for it.
    
    
39. Every place I hung out as an unsupervised child in New York in the late 1960s and early 1970s is now a Home Depot.
    
    
40. Amber Alert would be a good stage name.
    
    
41. I know I said 44 but this is more than enough.