"Nobody asked me but," is my periodic tribute to the great New York sportswriter, Jimmy Cannon. Cannon wrote one of these columns when he had nothing to write about.
Nobody asked me but....
....there should be a ring in hell for the people who move a deadline up 'just a day.'
....it should not take longer to write a brief than it does to do creative.
....I think there should be an Express Lane for copy--10 changes or less.
....In ten years tattoo removal will be a big business.
....I could use a good fatty corned beef sandwich on soggy rye bread with caraway seeds.
....As good as the corned beef is at Katz's down on Houston Street, their rye bread sucks.
....If someone retweets the above and Katz's offers me a free sandwich, I won't turn it down.
....The return of Spring has nothing to do with Persephone and pomegranate seeds, and everything to do with the return of baseball.
....It appears the Trump White House is as stable as a Jenga tower in a cyclone.
....Will it be Mueller who pulls out the final brick? Or will there be self-immolation?
....We could use a little immolation.
....Hope Hicks sounds like a TV weatherman in Topeka, Kansas.
....They can have her.
...Which probably isn't fair to Topeka.
....The central problem with the internet world is one of hierarchy.
....We can no longer distinguish the unimportant from the important.
....The red dots on your social media and email are ruining your brain by providing constant stimulation of dopamine.
....You're better off changing your phone screen to black and white.
....And maybe your computer screen too.
....What's more, Citizen Kane would have sucked if it had been shot in color. And The Grapes of Wrath. And Casablanca.
....People who ask 'how do you really feel?' don't care how you really feel.