This came across my desk today. I wish I were making it up.
"Statements made in this press release that are not historical facts, including statements accompanied by words such as "will," "believe," "anticipate," or similar words, are forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 regarding _____________'s plans and performance. These statements are based on management's estimates, assumptions and projections as of the date of this release and are not guarantees of future performance. Actual results may differ materially from the results expressed or implied in these statements as the result of risks, uncertainties and other factors including, but not limited to, the factors set forth in ______________'s filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission, including _____________'s Annual Report on Form 10-K for the year ended December 31, 2007. The Company cautions you not to place undue reliance on the forward-looking statements contained in this release. The Company does not undertake any obligation to publicly update or revise any forward-looking statements to reflect future events, information or circumstances that arise after the date of this release."