Monday, February 3, 2014

Thoughts on XLVII or something like that.

As far as football itself goes, Super Bowl XLVII or whatever Roman numeral it was, was a bust. I'd say the same for the commercials too.

I'll admit, I dislike football. I also disliked watching on Fox. If any company was ever deserving of being boycotted, Fox is at the top of the list. Their lies, their smearing, their deceptions, their denial of two of the central facts of our time--evolution and climate change--make them eminently shunnable. But this is America. We stick to our principles as long as no inconvenience is involved.

In any event, against my better angels, I turned the game on about a minute after the opening kickoff, just in time to see the Seahawks score a safety. But I was there primarily for the commercials and the community. This is one thing, it seems, that all Americans were tuned into--a shared event in our atomized world.

I'll also admit, I could bear the game no more and turned off, commercials or not, at the end of the third quarter and I went to read the 600 page biography I am slogging through on the Duke of Wellington. No commercials allowed.

One thing I noticed about the spots is how YouTube has changed our attention spans. There were plenty of commercials that were beautiful pastiches for 45-55 seconds, only to reveal a logo at the conclusion. This is supposed to make a spot a brand spot, when it is lofty, beautiful and non-selly. But such spots bored me. Tell me what you're about and tell me about your product.

Even Chrysler's Dylan spot bored me. It was ok and certainly grand, but man, you sullied Bob Dylan with your axe-grinding Americanism, and I don't really appreciate that. The Bud spot with returning vets made me sick. More false patriotism. I'd rather hear that a dime from every Bud sold went to find a cure for PTSD than more tear-jerking American-ness.

Virtually nothing else got me. Somethings, like Oikos and Butterfinger and I suppose if I plumbed my memory made me hate the brands more than I already do.

I also think that, hopefully, this year is the last year that commercials are released before the game. This is like having sex before the first date. Nothing to look forward to. An otherwise decent effort by VW (decent, not great, not particularly funny) had the air let out of it because I knew what was coming. Their spot was a one liner. It only works once. Take my spot, please.

That's it for me.

A lousy game. Mostly mediocre spots.

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