Wednesday, November 14, 2018

13 More Yiddish Curses for the Modern Ad Agency.

Some years ago I wrote a post called 13 Yiddish Curses for the Modern Ad Agency. In my view, and for no particular reason, I thought it made sense to update those curses for today's eminently curse-able ad industry. 
Yiddish may well be a dead language. But when it comes to imprecations, Yiddish is alive and well. 

And now, 13 new Yiddish curses:

1. May you be forced to eat at the agency cafeteria every day except for one, and on that day may you eat at Chipotle’s.

2. May the paperwork you have to do to submit expenses run as deep as Gary Vaynerchuk’s ego.

3. May you work for someone who uses the word humble without humility.

4. Before you’re allowed to leave for the day, may you be forced to count the lies in a thousand press releases.

5. If you leave a job to spend more time with your family, may you actually have to spend more time with your family.

6. May your powerpoints and your midsection get thicker with every meeting.

7. May you lose your timesheet just before you save it every time you try to save it.

8. May the interns who are always playing ping-pong get promoted to CCO and then fire you for not playing enough ping-pong.

9. May your briefs get longer as your media space gets smaller.

10. May your French holding company be taken over by an even-cheaper and more corrupt Russian holding company.

11. May your client get a $2 billion tax-break for relocating to your city and then may they fire you for being too expensive.

12. May you go to tissue sessions all day and may your nose run all night.

13. May your holding company announce a hiring freeze except for cafeteria workers and may those workers transmit a foodborne illness.


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