Monday, December 21, 2020

My last post of the year. Unless...

My last 2020 post unless...

  • Mark Read misplaces another half-a-billion dollars
  • Or WPP hires someone over 40.
  • Or 30.
  • Or actually hires a creative person--not yet another C-level figurehead.
  • Or hires a woman.
  • Or a person of color.
  • Or wins an account with five-figure revenue. Or four. All to the left of the decimal point.
  • Or Mark Read buttons his shirt. Or buys a tie.
  • Or issues a comprehensible statement about being part of culture or cart of pulture whichever comes first.    
  • An agency's offices are as nice as the Holding Company's offices.
  • An agency doesn't downsize to lower their rent.

My last post of the year. Unless...

  • Marcel gives me something to write about.
  • Michelle shows up with something to say.
  • Someone pronounces Publicis so it doesn't sound dirty.
  • Arthur makes a video that is under ten minutes long.
  • Someone doesn't come up with a new, cheaper, uglier production model.
My last post of the year. Unless...
  • Humaning takes off.
  • A holding company decides creative people are worth holding onto.
  • Oreo comes out with a Cole Porter cookie.
  • Someone runs a print ad.
  • With copy.
  • That's over 12 words long.
My last post of the year. Unless...
  • A media person does something really funny that doesn't involve the men's room.
  • An award is given for an ad that's made a material difference in a client's business.
  • A case-study video is produced that contains some truth.
  • A Brazilian agency produces real work for a client that's paid real money for it based on a real brief.
My last post of the year. Unless...
  • Someone succinctly and intelligently explains what brands were doing before they were customer-centric.
  • Or totals up how many CEOs are currently receiving paychecks from Ogilvy.
  • Or Martin Sorrell is hanged for having destroyed the industry through his innate "teddy-bear-ness," $100 million annual paychecks and $300 million net worth.
  • There's a new Kars 4 Kids commercial without pink guitars.
  • A holding company executive issues a statement without using the phrase "an unprecedented new normal."
My last post of the year. Unless...
  • The industry pivots.
  • Or does something brave.
  • Agile.
  • Or unprecedented.
That's all the story-scaping from me for 2020.

See you on Jabberuary 4th.


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