Credit Crunch.

Karl Westman, the Soul Captain, my music guy for twenty years just sent me an email. Lest you think I'm telling one of my old-man-and-the-sea tall tales, here it is:

I'm old-fashioned in so many ways. Sometimes I think I'd have to advance a century-and-a-half only to be three or four centuries behind everyone else.

I think of a lot of work like I work in a car-wash. 

Most places you go to for quotidian services, like the dry-cleaner, a shoe-repair place, renewing your driver's license are so backed up that even something simple--even when they promise "in by 9, out by 5," takes three or four times longer than that.

Whereas car washes run pretty smoothly.

They handle the dirt at hand right away.

You never have to leave your car and come back in a week.

That's they way I handle requests from friends and clients. As if I'm working in a car wash. 

So, I scribbled out the credits for the two campaigns Karl was asking for within about 17-minutes of getting his email. One of the campaigns had about six people involved in its creation and production. The other had one or two more.

There was a time that was normal in the industry--and in most other industries. Below for instance you'll find the closing credits of arguably the greatest movie in the history of celluloid, "Citizen Kane." The credits include about 25 names in total. 

Maybe these days unions and everyone-gets-a-trophy sensibilities demand that even on a 15-second spot you have to list in the credits the pigeon wrangler, the key grip, the colorist and about 71 other people who sneezed in the direction of the production.

When Karl asked me for credits I put down the writer, the art director, the director, music, producer and business manager. Those are the people who did 99.97-percent of the work. 

We're seeing a lot of photos from Cannes of late with a dozen or two dozen people accepting a trophy. That photo doesn't include the dozen or two dozen people who couldn't make it all the way to a dying industry's Bacchanal. 

But maybe one of the reasons we're dying is that we're so damned fair it's unfair. With everyone we have to acknowledge for playing a part in creating an ad, we can no longer give the people who actually came up with the idea, sold it, and got it made their due.

Yes, a lot of people had a hand in a particular project. And they're important. But by giving them all praise and...money...we're denying the people doing the lion's share their fair share.

When I worked at that place I worked at, I talked about this with the head of HR. He wrote back, this is a quote, that the agency is looking for "Highly collaborative agitators."

My two cents says there is no such thing.

Agitators don't collaborate. And Collaborators don't agitate. And it's fight and agitation that make work good.

In an era where everyone gets a trophy, I won't get a trophy for this.

Thank god.