Let's start today's post with a question. Keep that question in mind. And then the rest of the post will seek to reveal my point and answer my question.
Here's the question: Why would the consolidated "services" you get from a mega-agency be any different in spirit or quality from that you get from car rental place, or a hotel chain, or a quick-service restaurant, or a gas station?
Why would mega-agencies aka holding companies be any different from other big box entities?
Let's look at the "consolidating model." And delineate the practices of chains that a) reduce costs to the provider, b) standardize service so customer expectations are met no matter where you are, c) standardize the product no matter where you are in the world.
Dollar car rental in the Tucson airport does all of the above. Just as the thousands of formerly independent agencies now owned by the four (soon to be three) holding companies do.
Let's use my experience with Dollar car rental as a paradigm for the ad world today.
1. Too slow. I waited a long time for service because costs had been slashed so thoroughly that the counter had just one person working behind it. There was a line of seven people in front of me. If each person takes, say, seven minutes to process, that's a 49-minute wait.
Most agencies might follow a similar timing procedure to produce something as simple as a tweet, a banner ad or even a :30-commercial. None of those products are particularly difficult to make. But because of under-staffing, an agency might have to start working on their July Fourth "firecracker of savings" tweets in mid-May. That timing invites waste, second-guessing and long-approval processes. All of which are normal characteristics of mega-agency life.
2. Not human. When I finally got waited on, the man behind the counter was robotic. He treated me like a tick-mark, not a human. There was as much human connection as there would have been at a Soviet border crossing. It's clear the counter-man was overworked and customers were more of an annoyance than the most important part of his job.
3. Generic. There were four or seven other counters at the Tucson airport. They all offered the exact same cars, the exact same prices, the exact same lines, the exact same bureaucratic waiver of phony threats of insurance coverages, and the exact same robotic service. They all supplied their own brand of mediocrity. And everyone drove away with the same entry-level gray Nissan Sentra down a quart of coolant.
The hallmark of decent service, not to even entertain the idea of good service, is usually going the extra mile, doing something a little kind or unexpected. Like bringing a spouse of 40-years flowers of a gift for no particular reason. While MBAs might disagree, offering customers a generic slew of undifferentiated bonus miles does nothing to ungenericize the experience.
4. Unfair. I was told by the man at the counter that if on returning my gray Nissan Sentra, I didn't fill the tank with gas, they would charge me $10.99 a gallon. A gallon of 87-octane gas in Tucson costs about $2.99 a gallon. The Dollar "relationship" starts with the promise of a rip-off.
5. No way to settle problems. When I drove my gray Nissan Sentra from spot J2, I noticed that the gas tank I had to fill when I returned the car was reading F, and I could travel 340 miles on that allegedly F tank.
When I filled the car before returning, the meter indicated I could travel 430 miles on the actually F tank.
I mentioned to the person scanning my car and checking for dings and dents that I felt ripped off. I explained why. Her response was to say "did you take a picture of the dashboard?" And then to suggest that I take it up with the manager who sat, like Adolph Eichmann when he was on trial in Israel, in a glass booth, isolated from the public. I was told that the manager might be able to give me miles.
Each of these categories is a metaphor for so much of life today in a world in which each category you interact with is dominated by a half-a-handful of giant brands that control a monopoly share of their industry.
These behavioral characteristics also exemplify how amerika's two political parties behave. Think of the dozens of texts you get asking you for money. Can you imagine the response you'd get from one of those politicians asking for money if you asked for help? At best a form-letter. Most likely, silence.
If you're a client and you're reading this and you're tired of the sort of behavior I've outlined above, you might want to give ‘GeorgeCo., LLC, a Delaware company a call or send me a note.
You'll notice some things right off the bat.
1. A human (if you can call me that) will respond.
2. You'll probably get a smile or a laugh or something to think about when we speak.
3. We won't do small talk. We'll get right to your business.
These days, a smile, a laugh and something to think about are more than just nice to have. They're reasons to believe.
Try me.
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