Ad Aged: So you're a CCAMO. That's a title I'm unfamiliar with. Tell me what it stands for, please.
CCAMO: CCAMO. I'm the Chief Call a Meeting Officer. Whenever things get crazy, or busy, or threatening, whenever there's a lull, employee dissatisfaction, or, rarely, employee satisfaction, I call a meeting and straighten things out.
Ad Aged: If there's a new business pitch on Friday and no work?
CCAMO: I call a meeting.
Ad Aged: And what happens at this meeting?
CCAMO: I assign people to call small-group meetings. Other people I assign to produce hotsheets. Still other people I designate to stand over your shoulder looking anxious.
Ad Aged: And then?
CCAMO: Then, I call a meeting of all these people. I get everyone together in one big meeting and we settle things.
Ad Aged: Like what, for instance, what do we settle?
CCAMO: Well, for one, that we have too many meetings. So we have a meeting to discuss how we streamline things. Then we produce a spreadsheet--an unintelligible spreadsheet that designates who will be doing what and when it's due. But most of the lines on the spreadsheet we mark with TK for to come. And that means....
Ad Aged: That means it's time for another meeting, I assume?
CCAMO: Exactly. Then we talk about the problem. At which point, I defer to the CIHAHSO, and we take it from there.
Ad Aged: CIHAHSO?
CCAMO: Chief I Have A Hard Stop Officer. He makes sure that the moment something is about to get done at a meeting, the meeting ends.
Ad Aged: Well, thank you for your time today. Just one more question...
CCAMO: Send me an email. I can't answer now. I have another meeting to run to.