Thursday, March 10, 2016

A new office plan.

Absolutely no good comes when you see three or five men in business suits carrying clipboards and walking around your agency and pointing.

It usually means some architectural re-jiggering is going to happen, like they're adding a nail salon to the creative floor or they're reducing the size of the huddle rooms from 2' square to 1.5' square.

I just saw four guys traipsing through our workspace. I ran into one of the four guys in the men's room just now and while it took me a few moments to collect myself, amid peeing and washing I asked him what was going on.

"We're optimizing your open-plan workspace to make it even more optimized. We will increase the free-flow of ideas, the interchange between interfacing entities to maximize the collaborative conversation and improve creative ideation."

I nodded. But only because I wanted him to stop talking.

"Just how will you do all this?" I ventured.

"You'll be the first agency in the country to be heuristically optimized for the ergonomics of connected conurbation."

"I see," I lied.

"First thing we do is get rid of all desks. They close people off. They make it too easy to focus only on the work you need to do.

"Then we eliminate chairs..."

"So, there's no place to sit and work?"

"Sitting and working is so 20th Century. Wait to you see the workspace for the Heuristic Age. We call it 'the OpenPong' workspace. It's entirely ping-pong tables. The OpenPong workspace will foment something we call Ponglaboration."


"People will be pinging and ponging all day. Good for their health. Good for the free-exchange of ideas. That's Ponglaboration. That's the OpenPong workspace."

We shook hands and went our separate ways.

I can't wait to start ponglaborating.

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