Agency Lie--pathological edition.

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Monday Morning Stir

October 18, 2019 - 10:00 AM Comment

A roundup of industry news from around the web.

-37 chocolate bars proclaim “we’re the official candy of Halloween.”

-46% of all car commercials say “It’s scary how big the savings are. Qualified buyers and lessees only. Offers subject to terms and conditions. Professional driver, closed course. Do not attempt.”

-Gary Vaynerchuk talks about things he knows nothing about.

-Holding company shares slide 14%. Executive compensation, bonuses increase 22%.

-Facebook stops selling your personal information; to sell your children instead.

-Cindy Gallop running out of things to blow up.

-Agency Senior Management seen talking to someone not in senior management.

-Gary Vaynerchuk hospitalized for becoming a verb. “He’s Vaynerchuking and we can’t stop him,” medicos report.

-5G eliminates “dead zones.” “We’re now calling them ‘comatose zones,’” Telco spokesbot says.

-Survey: 91% of audio devices think the questions you ask it are inane.

-Free bagel Friday lowers creative attrition rate to a mere 72%.

-Freelancer going out as “employed copywriter” for Halloween.

-Client takes 72-hours to review work that was “due yesterday.”

-HR leader found in office on Friday.

-Publicis’ “Marcel” seeks name, sex change.

-ACD forgets: “Am I a ninja or a rockstar?”

-AI system that replaced copywriter replaced by Magnetic Poetry Kit.

-Obscure agency produces :15s that reaffirm why they are obscure.

-“Agile” ops person books all-day meeting to explain what agile means.

-Over-40 creative asked his opinion.

-“Data? I hardly know her,” quips disgruntled agency vet.