1. IN THE CHAIN DRUGSTORE.
CUSTOMER: Hi. Do you have safety pins?
CLERK: (NOT LOOKING UP. ASKS COWORKER) Do we have safety pins?
COWORKER: (TURNING PAGE OF MAGAZINE SHE'S READING.) Aisle ten.
CUSTOMER: Aisle ten? Where? It's a big aisle.
COWORKER: On the right side.
CUSTOMER: The right side facing the front of the store or the right side facing the back of the store?
COWORKER: In the back.
CUSTOMER: (FIVE MINUTES LATER) I can't find them.
CLERK: We must be out.
2. IN THE CHAIN HOLDING COMPANY AGENCY.
CLIENT: No one knows what our brand does. Who we are or what we stand for.
ACCOUNT: Let's have a zoom.
ASS'T ACCOUNT: I'll set up a call for Thursday next.
PLANNER: Let's make sure we talk about NFTs on that call.
PM: Are we scoped for that?
INTERN: Ocean plastic.
TECHNOLOGIST: We need to add some hours for Blockchain.
SR. CREATIVE: We'll have an anthem, some directors' reels and a ton of print.
ACCOUNT: The client hasn't run print since 2002.
SR. CREATIVE: But it will help define them.
MEDIA: We have some sponsorships with value-added quarter pages.
INTERN: The refugee crisis.
JR. CREATIVE: Metaverse. We'll build a storefront.
TECHNOLOGIST: They're on Drupal.
ACCOUNT: We're running hot.
SR. CREATIVE: The CCO wants everyone involved. We have to make something we can enter in Cannes.
JR. CREATIVE: (LAUGHING) Look! This is Ann as an avatar!
SR. CREATIVE: That's fucking great.
INTERN: Systemic racism.
PRODUCER: Just spoke to Smuggler! They want in.
SR. CREATIVE: What about Noam?
ACCOUNT: We can afford Noam, or Lance.
JR. CREATIVE: Even if we choose a song by the Stones?
PLANNING: No one's used the Stones for an NFT yet.
PM: This is coming together.
ACCOUNT: But we're still running a little hot.
CCO: We've got some boards coming in from the offices in Mumbai and Singapore.
SR. CREATIVE: Fuckin' awesome.
TECHNOLOGIST: We're working on a CMS. We'll be ready three months after the TV breaks.
MEDIA: It needs to work in six seconds.
INTERN: Global warming.
PRODUCER: We'll shoot anamorphically and one to one.
SR. CREATIVE: We need a really good DP.
PRODUCER: We've got the guy who did the Betty White tribute.
HR: We need to make sure we bid diverse production talent. And that the shoot is carbon-neutral.
PRODUCER: Why don't you just handcuff me from the start?
ACCOUNT: Cool it. There's no "i" in team.
PLANNING: Actually, we'll be dubbing this in French. The French word for team is "equipe." That has an "i." In Finnish, the word team is "tiimi."
JR. PLANNER: That's three "i's" in team.
SR. CREATIVE: Fuck a duck.
SR. ACCOUNT: Lunch!