Last night my wife had us go out to a shiva in New Jersey, a service of remembrance for someone who recently died. I was wishing the someone was me.
MIRIAM: You didn't eat? You said you were going to eat.
ME: No, I'm fine.
MIRIAM: You should have told me you weren't going to eat. I would have made some sandwiches.
ME: We're going to eat afterwards.
MIRIAM: You didn't eat. Why did you say you didn't need anything to eat? You said you were going to eat.
ME: I really don't want anything to eat.
MIRIAM: I have some vegetarian chopped liver in the ice box. Why didn't you say you wanted something to eat?
PHIL: He didn't eat. All the way from the city?
MILLIE: Let Miriam make you a sandwich.
LOUISE: That's crazy, not eating.
MIRIAM: Let me make you a sandwich. I didn’t know you didn’t eat.
MILLIE: Why did you say you didn’t want anything to eat?
MIRIAM: Let me make you something. I have a chicken in the icebox.
MILLIE: All the way he came from the city, with nothing to eat.
MIRIAM: You didn’t eat? You said you were going to eat.
MILLIE: Why didn’t you eat?
MIRIAM: You must be starving.
MILLIE: You told me you were going to eat.
MIRIAM: Are you hungry? I thought you were going to eat.