Thursday, January 6, 2011

From the South Seas, a ditty.

Avast, dear readers. Here's sumthin' I picked up in a seaside tavern this hollyday.
Tis Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Who's that knocking at my door? Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?" said the fair Young Maiden...

"It's only me from over the sea" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's only me from over the sea" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

" open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
" open the door, you pox-ridden whore!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if I should lock the door? What if I should lock the door?
What if I should lock the door?" said the fair Young Maiden....

"I'll smash the lock with my diamond-hard cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll smash the lock with my diamond-hard cock!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if my parents should come home? What if my parents come home?
What if my parents should come home?" said the fair Young Maiden....

"I'll kill your pa and then your ma!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll kill your pa and then your ma!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Are you young and handsome, Sir? Are you young and handsome, Sir?"
Are you young and handsome, Sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What is your intention, sir? What is your intention, sir?
What is your intention, sir?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"Oh, off with your shirt, so you doesn't get hurt!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Will you take me to the dance? Will you take me to the dance?
Will you take me to the dance?" said the fair Young Maiden....

"To Hell with the dance! Now off with your pants!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"To Hell with the dance! Now off with your pants!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"Will you vow to marry me? Will you vow to marry me?
Will you vow to marry me?" said the fair Young Maiden....

" no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in the bed!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
" no, we won't wed. Getcher ass in the bed!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What's that thing between your legs?" What's that thing between your legs?
"What's that thing between your legs?" said the fair young maiden.

"It's only me pole to shove in your holes!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"It's only me pole to shove in your holes!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if I should have a child? What if I should have a child?
What if I should have a child?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"We'll smother the bugger and for another!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"We'll smother the bugger and for another!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if we should have a boy? What if we should have a boy?
What if we should have a boy?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'll take him to sea, teach him to like me!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll take him to sea, teach him to like me!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if we should have a girl? What if we should have a girl?
What if we should have a girl?" said the fair Young Maiden.

"I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if you should go to jail? What if you should go to jail?
What if you should go to jail?" said the fair young maiden.

"I'll smash down the walls with my forty-pound balls!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll smash down the walls with my forty-pound balls!" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

"What if you should get the chair? What if you should get the chair?
What if you should get the chair?" said the fair young maiden.

"I'll absorb the shock" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
"I'll absorb the shock" said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

2 comments:

Dave Trott said...

I remember Popeye and Olive Oil used to sing that.
But only the first 4 lines.

geo said...

Louis Jordan had a nice jazz version as well. Complete with falsetto.