WE OPEN IN A LAVISH PANELED BOARDROOM CARVED OUT OF A DORMANT VOLCANO THAT SEETHES UNDER NEW YORK'S ONCE THRIVING MADISON AVENUE. THE CAPO DI CAPI OF THE WORLD ADVERTISING INDUSTRY ARE GATHERED AROUND A GLEAMING 75-FOOT LONG TABLE.
CEO OF PUBICOM:
Gentlemen, these are not easy times for us.
CEO OF OMNIGORE:
No, they are not. Certainly not.
CEO OF PEW:
Something must be done. But what.
CEO OF INTERSPECIES:
Every time we hear the word "margins," the phrase razor-thin is appended to it.
So, do we look to develop thinner razors? That would make our margins...razor thick!
Who has the Gillette account--can they work on this?
We used to have it but...
We have it. But they're not talking to us.
Gentlemen, thinner razors won't help. We need some big ideas.
Can we hire an agency to help?
McKinsey? They need the money after that $573 million judgment for killing thousands of people for their Oxycontin clients.
Gentlemen, I have a staff of over 300 CFOs and 180 business transformation experts.
I think we have something...
Something you're willing to share.
We will all stand together, gentlemen, or we will all hang apart.
At PEW, Plastic Eviscerating Wire, we have an idea.
[THE CONFERENCE TOMB DARKENS]
Gentlemen, slide one:
I give you Cee Ess Tee.
Creative Savings Time.
Every time there is a creative project, we move the billable clock back one hour, so we can bill for more time. AND we move the creatives' clock ahead one hour so they don't bill at all and we can fire all those who are left.
We have over a dozen blood-sucking creatives wanting to get paid every week.
With CST, Creative Savings Time, we can bill our clients more--and give them less.
That is the return of the path to profitability. Do less. Charge more.
That is genius! But if a Frenchman thought of it, it would be not just Creative Savings Time, but Client Savings Time as well.
CST! We save on what we spend on clients.
And we save on what we give to creatives!
PEW: My, friends, CST is our road back.
JUST THEN THE LIGHTS FLICKER BACK ON AND A TINY SCOWLING MAN ENTERS THE ROOM.
It is Sir Martin.
You old Holding Companies are doing it wrong! You don't need CST. That's the old Agency Model.
SSSS4444 has a new way.
CSSSS4444--Certainly. Sorelbow Steals Shareholders Souls. What did you think SSSS4444 stands for?
A TREMENDOUS CRASH OF THUNDER SOUNDS. THE ROOM DARKENS AGAIN AND THE FIVE MEN DISAPPEAR INTO A CLOUD BLOOD RED SMOKE.