Maybe there's someone somewhere reading this post who has a background in art.
I don't.
Maybe they'll read what follows and say, "George, you're an imbecile." They won't be the first to call me that. Or the last.
Nevertheless, just yesterday I got an email from the auction house Christie's about upcoming auctions. I'm probably on their list because I like looking at cars I can't afford, or rare books. But of course the operating principle of modern marketing was stolen from the Spanish-language versions of the old Roach Motel ads that used to blanked the New York City subway.
They used to sign off those ads by saying, "Las cucharachas entran pero no pueden salir." The roaches check in but they don't check out.
That's how about 90.999-percent of marketers treat anyone who accidentally or on-purpose ever visited a site, ordered a meal or even hovered over an ad. No matter how unlikely it is that you'll ever buy from that company, or how little you care about them, or how little they know about you, they have no issue with sending you literally 15 emails a week, addressing you buy your first name, telling you that you left something in your cart. If customer-service was 1/20th as good in this country as customer-harassment, we wouldn't need such assiduous customer-harassment.
In any event, Christie's has me now and they send me at least an email a week announcing up-coming auctions. This one, on great American art, I looked through. That will earn me at least anothe 75 million emails, or two year's worth, whichever comes second.
The two paintings we're placed side-by-side in an online page. To me they looked similar in a few ways. Subject-matter. Colorfulness. And artistic-quality. In fact, the painting on the right by Henrietta M. Shore, whom I've never heard of, looked more like a Georgia O'Keeffe than the Georgia O'Keeffe.
Then I looked at the prices.
The O'Keeffe was $1,000,000 to $1,500,000. The Shore was going for a 95-percent less. $40,000 to $60,000.
There may be materiel reasons for this price disparity that I can't discern.
But to my marketing eyes (one of which is blurry from yesterday's cataract surgery) Shore suffers from a serious branding issue.
A branding issue we in advertising, and our clients could learn from.
O'Keeffe is worth more because she's worth more. Over time, the O'Keeffe brand has built high O'Keeffe prices. When you have to sell the piece, you'll probably get your money back and more. Because the O'Keeffe brand keeps appreciating.
The three-word brief is as clear as a lie coming from a presidential press-secretary. It's "Make us famous."
Of course, there's other stuff advertising has to do. But "Make us famous," boils it all down or sums it all up.
It works for just about everything. A "hot" or "famous" ad agency gets more business and gets to charge more. Same with a hamburger joint, a politician, a can of soup, an SUV.
Make us famous takes everything you want an ad to do--define what a brand does, show how it's better and make it memorable and squeezes all the lipids out of it until it's anorexically-terse.
Make us famous doesn't happen in tiny one-percent increments. A slightly better director, script, actor, colorist, piece of music ain't gonna make something famous. It takes a huge, consistent, and often times notorious amount of work and work with impact not just frequency or decibels. It takes something that knocks down all of the trillion barriers that insulate and isolate us from so much of the world's banality.
We don't see shitty work and say "that's shitty." It's worse than that. We simply don't see it at all.
Can you remember one spot by Kamala Harris?
Earlier on Wednesday, the day I wrote this, I saw this headline and photograph in Ad Age. Ad Age used to be a credible magazine. Today, it makes Mad Magazine look like the Paris Review. It's flaks and hacks and contests and rankings that are tales told by idiots signifying nothing. They've ignored the industry news for industry bushwa.
Somehow the horror of that AI-selected asstock photograph and the absolute blandness of the headline pissed me off and nauseated me. The "please-everyone plastic pablum."
This piece does the opposite of bringing fame to an idea or its author.
Like 99.999-percent of all we see and do.
It's insulting wallpaper.
But, you know, shareholder value.