Saturday, August 13, 2016

Before Air Conditioning. (A guest-post from Arthur Miller).

From "The New Yorker," June 22, 1998.

One of the finest things I have ever read by one of my many writing heroes.
I first read this almost 20 years ago and it remains something I look at when
New York is having a heat wave.


Exactly what year it was I can no longer recall—probably 1927 or ’28—there was an extraordinarily hot September, which hung on even after school had started and we were back from our Rockaway Beach bungalow. Every window in New York was open, and on the streets venders manning little carts chopped ice and sprinkled colored sugar over mounds of it for a couple of pennies. We kids would jump onto the back steps of the slow-moving, horse-drawn ice wagons and steal a chip or two; the ice smelled vaguely of manure but cooled palm and tongue.
People on West 110th Street, where I lived, were a little too bourgeois to sit out on their fire escapes, but around the corner on 111th and farther uptown mattresses were put out as night fell, and whole families lay on those iron balconies in their underwear.
Even through the nights, the pall of heat never broke. With a couple of other kids, I would go across 110th to the Park and walk among the hundreds of people, singles and families, who slept on the grass, next to their big alarm clocks, which set up a mild cacophony of the seconds passing, one clock’s ticks syncopating with another’s. Babies cried in the darkness, men’s deep voices murmured, and a woman let out an occasional high laugh beside the lake. I can recall only white people spread out on the grass; Harlem began above 116th Street then.
Later on, in the Depression thirties, the summers seemed even hotter. Out West, it was the time of the red sun and the dust storms, when whole desiccated farms blew away and sent the Okies, whom Steinbeck immortalized, out on their desperate treks toward the Pacific. My father had a small coat factory on Thirty-ninth Street then, with about a dozen men working sewing machines. Just to watch them handling thick woollen winter coats in that heat was, for me, a torture. The cutters were on piecework, paid by the number of seams they finished, so their lunch break was short—fifteen or twenty minutes. They brought their own food: bunches of radishes, a tomato perhaps, cucumbers, and a jar of thick sour cream, which went into a bowl they kept under the machines. A small loaf of pumpernickel also materialized, which they tore apart and used as a spoon to scoop up the cream and vegetables.
The men sweated a lot in those lofts, and I remember one worker who had a peculiar way of dripping. He was a tiny fellow, who disdained scissors, and, at the end of a seam, always bit off the thread instead of cutting it, so that inch-long strands stuck to his lower lip, and by the end of the day he had a multicolored beard His sweat poured onto those thread ends and dripped down onto the cloth, which he was constantly blotting with a rag.
Given the heat, people smelled, of course, but some smelled a lot worse than others. One cutter in my father’s shop was a horse in this respect, and my father, who normally had no sense of smell—no one understood why—claimed that he could smell this man and would address him only from a distance. In order to make as much money as possible, this fellow would start work at half past five in the morning and continue until midnight. He owned Bronx apartment houses and land in Florida and Jersey, and seemed half mad with greed. He had a powerful physique, a very straight spine, a tangle of hair, and a black shadow on his cheeks. He snorted like a horse as he pushed the cutting machine, following his patterns through some eighteen layers of winter-coat material. One late afternoon, he blinked his eyes hard against the burning sweat as he held down the material with his left hand and pressed the vertical, razor-sharp reciprocating blade with his right. The blade sliced through his index finger at the second joint. Angrily refusing to go to the hospital, he ran tap water over the stump, wrapped his hand in a towel, and went right on cutting, snorting, and stinking. When the blood began to show through the towel’s bunched layers, my father pulled the plug on the machine and ordered him to the hospital. But he was back at work the next morning, and worked right through the day and into the evening, as usual, piling up his apartment houses.
There were still elevated trains then, along Second, Third, Sixth, and Ninth Avenues, and many of the cars were wooden, with windows that opened. Broadway had open trolleys with no side walls, in which you at least caught the breeze, hot though it was, so that desperate people, unable to endure their apartments, would simply pay a nickel and ride around aimlessly for a couple of hours to cool off. As for Coney Island on weekends, block after block of beach was so jammed with people that it was barely possible to find a space to sit or to put down your book or your hot dog.
My first direct contact with an air-conditioner came only in the sixties, when I was living in the Chelsea Hotel. The so-called management sent up a machine on casters which rather aimlessly cooled and sometimes heated the air, relying, as it did, on pitchers of water that one had to pour into it. On the initial filling, it would spray water all over the room, so one had to face it toward the bathroom rather than the bed.
A South African gentleman once told me that New York in August was hotter than any place he knew in Africa, yet people here dressed for a northern city. He had wanted to wear shorts but feared that he would be arrested for indecent exposure.
High heat created irrational solutions: linen suits that collapsed into deep wrinkles when one bent an arm or a knee, and men’s straw hats as stiff as matzohs, which, like some kind of hard yellow flower, bloomed annually all over the city on a certain sacred date—June 1st or so. Those hats dug deep pink creases around men’s foreheads, and the wrinkled suits, which were supposedly cooler, had to be pulled down and up and sidewise to make room for the body within.
The city in summer floated in a daze that moved otherwise sensible people to repeat endlessly the brainless greeting “Hot enough for ya? Ha-ha!” It was like the final joke before the meltdown of the world in a pool of sweat. 




Friday, August 12, 2016

Sign of the times.


NSFW.


Work has its pressures.

But lately, I mean for the past two years or so,
there have been more than usual.

There's really no relief.

I run up five flights of stairs hoping out-of-breathness chases it away.

Then I run up five more.

But it's still there.

The pressure.

There are times it gets to be too much. 

That's when I listen to this. 

About six times over. Or 16.

I find it helps.


Thursday, August 11, 2016

Nobody asked me, but.... (Olympic edition)

Nobody asked me, but…is a tribute to the great New York sportswriter, Jimmy Cannon. When he had no topic to write about, he'd write one of these. About everything but sports.

Nobody asked me, but....BMW's TV commercials are so bad, they make me want to sell my BMW.


...Speaking of commercials, United Airline's Olympic commercial might be the worst of a very bad lot.


...I don't know how you can be from Switzerland and play beach volleyball.


....Even if you do look exceptional in spandex.


....Virtually all sportscasters talk too much.


....And say too little.


....America's female gymnasts are amazing, but I could live without the glitter eye-shadow.


...I can't imagine Mickey Mantle wearing glitter eye-shadow.


...Athletes not wearing corporate logos should get a head-start.


....Corporate logos have just about ruined everything,


....This has nothing to do with the Olympics, 
but I dislike Chris Christie almost as much as I dislike Donald Trump.

...I am looking forward to the start of the track and field competition.

....But not the television closeups of women runners manicures.

....I wish Donald Trump was the designated shot-put catcher.




Wednesday, August 10, 2016

An olde tyme cab ride.

Last night I had one of those cab rides home that New York used to be legendary for.

Since Uber and Via and Lyft and Gett and Juno and Kurb and Abduction (I made that last one up) came onto the scene, the yellow cab business--a staple of New York like rats reading the New York Post--have all but slunk into irrelevance. No one I know takes cabs anymore. The deal and the rides are much more comfortable, affordable and convenient with one of the aforementioned services.

What we've given up, of course, is cab-driver wisdom. We no longer have the world-weary driver with a number in the 300,000's who will set the world right on a ride across town. We no longer have time with the young Egyptian or Pakistani with an engineering degree who is going for his PhD at City University. We no longer have the hyperbolic angry humor of a blood-pressured West Indian who knows exactly what's wrong with the world and will tell you. At the top of his lungs.

The typical Via ride is silent. Passengers are not allowed to talk on phones, and drivers usually wear a mask of professional indifference. Last night, however, I had a driver who was ready to talk. As I was alone in his Chevrolet Suburban--and sitting alongside him in the front passenger seat--I was a more than willing audience.

"You know what a good business is?" he began. "A liquor store. You can't really go wrong with a liquor store."

I grunted assent. I had worked as a clerk in a liquor store in Chicago when I was 20. 

"You take a neighborhood like Hell's Kitchen, or the Far West Side, with all those new Trump buildings. There are no liquor stores. Now, some of those old birds who live there, they're good for a bottle a night. And not a $20 bottle even. A $300-$400 bottle. They can't go to sleep without they wine."

Again I grunted assent. Like I said, I had seen the same when I toiled in Chicago. The city of broad shoulders and handy corkscrews.

"Let me tell you something," he said, running the light at 57th and 10th. "When times is good, you have the foot traffic, you have people visiting friends and bringing a bottle. When times is bad, you have people drowning their sorrows. When it's cold, they stay warm, when it's hot, they stay cool."

"I thought you had to be mobbed up to get a license."

"No. Not any more. There's a lawyer on 7th Avenue, he'll get you set for $15 thousand. Get you your license. And the trick with wine is you buy a lot. Then the importer sees you're a good customer and sells you the good stuff that other stores don't get. But first they have to see you're a good customer."

He was heading up Madison Avenue.

"I found one store in the Bronx. All they wanted for the store was $50K. I could get the whole thing up and running for $100K. But let me tell you something..."

"OK," I said. Just to get a word in.

"If you're in a black neighborhood, you don't get a black person to run it. You get a little Indian or Chinese woman. It's sad but black don't buy from black. You pay them a weekly salary. But you don't hire no black people. Black don't buy from black."

I had no comment on that. And besides he had pulled up in front of my building.

"Thank you," I said.

He gave a toot on his horn.

"Think about it," he said. "A liquor store. That's your early retirement."

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

TV broke the bargain.

When I grew up (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth) television as a medium offered consumers a square deal. You paid for what you watched by viewing commercials. 

Now television shows nearly twice as many commercials per hour as they did 40 or even 20 years ago--and we are also charged by cable companies. According to my calculus, we are being charged twice. The first charge is our monthly access fee. The second charge is all the commercials we are subjected to.

BTW, with NBC owned by Comcast, at least one network is double-dipping. Comcast gets revenue by setting extortionate prices on access, then hits you again with too many commercials. This sort of ownership was struck down in the 1950s (when the US had a functioning, regulating government) when the major movie studios owned the movie theaters. Owning both production and distribution was declared illegal.

It's no wonder people are turned off by TV and looking for alternative ways to get their entertainment.

When I watch the Olympics, or try to amid the onslaught of advertising, I am being charged to watch (my $75/month cable bill which essentially grants me access to what used to be free) and then I'm charged for watching (20 minutes of commercials an hour.)

Too much of the world is set up this way. Just go to a sporting event or a concert or an opera. In addition to the inflated ticket prices you must pay, you are assaulted with ads at every turn.

That doesn't seem fair to me.

Further, to me, it seems to create disdain among viewers. For both the media and the message.


Monday, August 8, 2016

El Pulpo, Part II.


-

El Pulpo’s team was up first.

It was a team of old-timers, of guys who might have played with El Pulpo when he blazed through the Mexican League in the 30s, 40s and 50s. They were athletes, you could tell. But the ravages of time and adipose had caught up with them.

Maybe they played with El Pulpo on the occasional Saturday exhibition game to reconnect with old ball-player friends, or to re-connect with their youth and the game they played so many years before. Maybe they played these afternoon contests to hear the roar of the crowd and to see the cities throughout the Mexican League that they had seen so many years before. Maybe, maybe most likely, they played to be near El Pulpo. So they could say to their grand-children and their friends and even the odd stranger or two, “I played with El Pulpo. I played with the Octopus. I played with Seven Fingers. I played with the greatest of all time.”

Felix Espinal was on the mound for us. He had just joined us from Metepec, a small city almost 9000 feet high in the mountains east of Toluca. He played for a junior team, Los Alfareritos, and though he was just 5’7” and probably weighed no more than 130 lbs. he was what was known as ‘sneaky fast,’ and with the Seraperos always short on pitching (we were always short on hitting, too, to be honest) the club brought him up to try to help us through a skein of scheduled doble hornados—double headers.

Espinal worked quickly on the mound and retired El Pulpo’s team in just a couple minutes, impressively parsimonious with his pitches. Then, it was our turn to bat and to face El Pulpo.

Hector had penciled Gulliermo Sisto, an old friend of El Pulpo’s to bat first against the old man. Sisto who had played with El Pulpo. Sisto who was the oldest player in the league, who had played for a total of 50 teams during his long career and lashed over 1,500 hits while playing in the Mexican League.

“I will strike you out, Sis,” El Pulpo mocked from the mound. The first pitch came in straight, then at the last moment took a sharp right turn away from Sisto’s lumber. Sisto flailed at it but missed the bender by a good half foot.

“Otro mas,” yelled Sisto. Calling for the same pitch, and El Pulpo delivered. This one Sisto met with the fat part of his bat and sent far down the right field line, going with the pitch, but hooking it foul after 300 feet fair. It was 0-2 now, and El Pulpo had Sisto deep in the hole. Pulpo wasted a purpose pitch toward Sisto’s noggin, a slow pitch toward Sisto’s head. The two old men laughed at that and then resumed their battle.

Sisto dug in, El Pulpo delivered. The pitch again came in slow and straight, then veered left, then right, for strike three. El Pulpo had thrown the pitch that earned him his bread, his famous “double curve,” a pitch only a man with two thumbs and seven fingers could throw.

Sisto threw his bat in the air in exasperation and walked head bowed to our dugout. “The double curve,” he said to me. “Even Satchel Paige had no pitch like the double curve.”

I was batting fifth.


I sat on the bench and looked at the deep blue of the Saltillo afternoon sky, and I hoped. I hoped it would rain.

Friday, August 5, 2016

A summer Friday.

With just three weeks to go until Labor Day, I am today taking my first summer Friday. And it appears, at least for now, that I have lucked out weather-wise.

Whiskey nosed me awake around 6:05 but I was able to push her off for about half an hour and stay in bed until almost 7AM. Then we had our breakfast and headed out to Central Park for some fresh air and exercise.

The weather was warm, but not too warm. The humidity, especially for August was low. And the sky was high and clear and blue. In short, a perfect day to not work

Central Park, I'll admit, always makes me nostalgic. When I was a little boy--knee-high to a cockroach, my old man would drop me and my brother off on the schist that protrudes from the earth around 65th Street. We would, like Sir Edmund Hillary, scamper and play and slide and scrape our knees and elbows while my father smoked his cigars and read his paper on a nearby bench.

Later on, we would walk through the rickety old zoo and see real lions, so unlike the granite ones that stand sentinel in front of the New York Public Library, just 20 blocks south.

When I was an older boy, my school team would pile out of our school bus and, wearing spikes and making sparks on the cobblestones that showed through the worn asphalt on Central Park West, run to the park to play a game of ball amid the junkies and the pushers who hung in the outfield.

I remember my last at bat in Central Park, on a cold May day in 1975, getting a pitch in on my hands and hitting it to right for an opposite-field double that won us a game.

Today, this morning, the park was all about people and their dogs. Whiskey met a little hound called Rex and ran in broad circles on Cedar Hill until she was tuckered out. Then we walked some hundreds of yards to Stuyvesant Oval and did a loop, playing with George, and Sunshine, and Zanzibar.

Her tongue as long as a porn-star's, we headed home. Both of us tired and looking forward to the day.

The day off.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

It can happen here.

There's a disturbing video on "The New York Times" site that I think everyone should watch. More, we should think about what's happening. Here.

Eighty years ago, Sinclair Lewis wrote a satirical novel "It Can't Happen Here." But maybe it can. Maybe it will.

I've read, for about the past 45 years, virtually every book I could find about the rise of Hitlerism in Germany. The seeds are here, and they're being cultivated. 

And unlike Germany 75 years ago, here everybody is armed. And everybody is glued to a screen. So they're even easier to manipulate.

I think it's time that we in the advertising industry spoke to our clients. It's time for companies to come out, to take a stand, to speak about the clear and present danger that Donald Trump embodies. 

They cannot hide behind, "we don't get involved in politics." This is not politics. It is evil. Hate. Violence.

We cannot sit by and hope it goes away.

It won't die.

Unless we kill it.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

I approved this message.

Looking back on my 36 years in the business (I started in 1980, writing catalog copy for Montgomery Ward) one of the biggest and most-pernicious changes is how ads and copy get approved.

Unless I'm looking at the past with rose-colored contact lenses, it seems to me there used to be an order to getting things approved, a finite set of approvers and a set number of rounds of approval.

Let's say copy was due to your client on Monday, October 1. You'd get feedback on Tuesday, October 2. Send back changes on the third, receive another round of feedback on the fourth, and deliver final copy of the fifth.

In other words, everybody had about three goes at your copy and you had three rounds to "improve" it.

We may today have the same amount of time to get an ad approved, but that period--say five days--is filled with almost an infinite number of rounds. You might get, literally, 20 emails with feedback.

There is no closure.

And I can't help but thinking that if we aren't killing the spirit of the people working on creative, we are, often, approving things to death.