Uncle Slappy called tonight just as the news on PBS was over. I picked up the phone on the second ring. I knew it was Uncle Slappy and I knew he had a good one for me.
"The fancy Puerto Rican anchorman with the mustache said the Egyptian army got him," he began, as usual without even saying hello. "They ousted their President Morty."
I'm used to playing his straight man. The fact is, I actually enjoy it.
"That's President Morsi, Uncle Slappy, not President Morty."
"The last I saw of Morty he was kicked out of the co-op association for stealing paper towels from the clubhouse. The first time, they looked the other way. But when they caught him again, he was gone."
"Time and tide wait for no man, I suppose."
"I'm not quite sure how Morty became president of Egypt, but there you have it. Let me read you the Times' headline: "Army Ousts Egypt's President Morty.
"I wonder" he continued "if they caught him with a roll of bounty."
With that, the old man hung up the phone. And I was left staring at mine.