CMO: Dude, nothing could be further from reality, bro. Marketing is dead.
Ad Aged: I think that may be the subject of another post, after all, you do work at an advertising agency.
CMO: Brah, it's all about social causes and transparency. I'm only giving this interview because your blog has such a small carbon-footprint.
Ad Aged: Thank you, I think. I wasn't aware I had a carbon-footprint at all. But tell me what CMO stands for.
CMO: Chief Millennial Officer, Bro. I help agencies relate to millennials. They are impervious to modern marketing. We can reach them only by doing things for the betterment of the world.
Ad Aged: An example, please.
CMO: Sure, Totino's toaster burritos--a new product. With every purchase, Totino's will donate a dime toward the AAG Foundation.
Ad Aged: AAG. Who are they?
CMO: AAG, Brah. Adopt a Goldfish. Thousands of our finny friends were abandoned after the disasters in Puerto Rico and Houston. We find good homes--good bowls--for them.
It's a little something I call "Causevertising." And millennials eat it up.
Ad Aged: Abandoned goldfish.
CMO: That's not all. Buy a ten-pack of Ticonderoga pencils and we'll donate a nickel to an inner-city program that is really close to my heart. Dude, I grew up in the 'hood.
Ad Aged: And what inner-city program is that?
CMO: Did you know that four out of ten desks in inner-city schools wobble? Millennials everywhere are buying Ticonderoga pencils and eradicating wobbly writing surfaces.
Ad Aged: I wasn't aware this was such a problem.
CMO: I call it 'the silent killer.' Wobbly desks don't actually kill people, but it's a good line.
CMO: I call it 'the silent killer.' Wobbly desks don't actually kill people, but it's a good line.
Ad Aged: Well, our time is just about up for today. Any parting remarks?
CMO: Dude, I wonder if you have any interest in adopting a goldfish. It could do wonders to increase your readership.
No comments:
Post a Comment