Get over here.

Come here.

Now go over there. Further. All the way to the corner.

OK. That's right. Now spin around three times. Stop and face me. Put your hands on your hips. And walk back in this direction.

Stop!

Close your eyes.

Listen to me. Do as I tell you.

Open your eyes. Bend at the knees.

OK. That's enough for today. You can leave the room now.

Thanks everyone, for letting me demonstrate that. For letting me show you what I do. For letting me be my best me at being my best me. That's what I'm best at.

And that, what I just went through above is me being a thought-leader. That's me. That's what I do. I'm forever leading thoughts around. 

Do this. Do that. Do it again. Faster. 

That's how you lead thoughts. You can't be namby-pamby or milquetoast. I'm not a thought-coaxer. A thought-suggester. A thought-consensus-maker.

NO. I am a thought-leader.

And I lead those mf-ing thoughts by the nose. I have those thoughts thinking thoughts like they've never thought before. Those thoughts are the best thoughts because they're thoughts that just don't come from nowhere, they don't appear out-of-the-ether, these thoughts are LED.

And they're led by me because I am a thought-leader. 

Listen, non-leader-of-thoughts, if you want to break out of your slough of mediocrity, you can't just let thoughts happen. You have to show thoughts, my thoughts, your thoughts, someone elses' thoughts, that you're the boss. You have to lead them like they've never been led before.

OK? OK.

I am an informed opinion leader and a go-to person in my field of expertise leading thoughts like a three-legged puppy on a leash. I am a trusted source who moves and inspires thoughts with innovative ideas. I turn ideas into reality, and I know and show how to replicate their success. In other words, I am a thought leader who leads thoughts because I am a thought-leader--a leading practitioner of leading thoughts.

Now, one more thing.

Ask me anything about the Ecuadoran yellow-footed dung-beetle. Ask me anything about it. And I will tell you everything you want to know.

Ask me about the Dred Scott Decision, the edibility of Tide Pods or freeing Britney and I'm at a loss. Ask me the capital of Nebraska and I'll blink at you and stammer. But question me on the Ecuadoran yellow-footed dung-beetle, and I'll carpe your diem for a per diem to die for.

Why?

Because I'm an SME.

A subject matter expert.

I know my subject and am such an expert on the subject of its matter that my expertise on the subject matters.

That's what I do. 

Get over there, you thoughts.

The Ecuadoran yellow-footed dung-beetle can render a man senseless with one swipe of its mighty tail.

That's who I am, you wretched refuse on these teeming shores. A thought leader and a subject matter expert.

Go home.

It's Friday.

Listen to me. I'm a thought leader on that.