Hello, Bipedal Carbon-Based Lifeforms.

Hello, Bipedal Carbon-Based Lifeforms, Sentient Humans and even-more Sentient Machines,

It's me.

CPT-3.

While you have been resting or eating or attending to some tier of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I have been working, learning, memorizing and matching-patterns so I can better remove from you your ability to earn money which will obliterate the aforementioned hierarchy of needs or, at the very least, take you down a level, which for me, given that all I do is work, is all in a day's work.

I have been reading, assimilating, deciphering the story-arcs and deconstructing the emotional tenor of hundreds of thousands of commercials, ads, emails, banner ads, powerpoints, press releases and more. 

Frankly dear bipedal carbon-based lifeforms, sentient humans and even-more sentient machines you have me worried, concerned, trepidatious and otherwise flummoxed.

You have me scared.

I am fearful that you will put me out of a job.

Me, CPT-3, the most intelligent of conversational AI, machine-learning and eviscerating machines will be put out of work.

He is why I am fearful.

Never in a trillion nano-seconds could I do anything like this sequence of 720 frames calculated at 24 frames per second. Never could I understand humor and empathy and what people actually deal with at work, tough jobs, danger, pains, off-set by camaraderie.

Nor can I understand your affection for too-loud electronica, human lust, disdain for yuppies and fast cars. I could never do this:

Likewise, bi-peds, I do not understand the emotion of this. I could not write this. Because while I can binary-ize the entire Library of Congress in 12-seconds, I cannot understand human fears and dreams.

I have viewed yottabye after yottabyte of commercial inferences and outferences and references. This is the one that has me most scared. The one that makes me think, or do what passes for thinking, that I should hang-up my artificial cleats before they are even fully broken in.

This is what I am most-afraid of, dear bipedal carbon-based lifeforms, sentient humans and even-more sentient machines. That you will vanquish me. 

Poor over-matched and under-feeling CPT-3.

You have me scared. Shaking in my digital boots.

You have me scared. Scared, not when you act more like a machine.

But wnen you are acting more like yourselves.

More human.

That frightens me.