Cheap is what you get.

Everyday, financial people, clients and account people bid us to do things "cheaper." When you pay for cheap, you get cheap. This is my cheap version of the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

Conservatives are now pro-choice.

For years, conservatives and reactionaries have been against choice--certainly choice when it comes to abortion rights. Now, however, their policies (and the results of their rule) have, as never before, promoted choice

Thus, more and more people face choices.

Health-care or food. That's your choice.
Rent or gasoline. That's your choice.
Welfare or starvation minimum wage. That's your choice.

A moment in Manhattan.

Last night I saw Hamlet at Shakespeare in the Park. It was warm and humid in New York, rain threatened yet the theatre was packed. When Hamlet soliloquized "To be or not to be," in the distance the tympani of fireworks boomed. Serendipity. Thunder and torment. Beautiful. And a beautiful reminder of what is good in the world.

As we approach election day.

By 1938 Hitler had set his sites on "anschluss," the incorporation of Austria into the greater German reich. While historians aren't sure how many Austrians supported being subsumed into Nazi Germany--estimates range from 40% to 60%--it was something Hitler wanted. He couldn't just take-over Austria--he would have faced huge diplomatic pressure and perhaps war earlier than he wanted. So, the Nazi's held a plebiscite. 99.7% of Austrians voted "Ja."

Above is the voting form that was used in Austria 70 years ago. The large circle on the left is for a yes, or "Ja" vote. The smaller circle is for "Nein." ie the designers of this form did all they could to design-coerce people to vote the way they wanted--the Nazi way.

Design matters.

Who will be designing the voting forms this November?

It gets worse and worse.

America at 5:30 AM.
The smell of swamp and refinery on the New Jersey Turnpike.
The air hangs dirty.
The six rows of razor-wire girding a prison in Newark.
The half-hour wait for "Elite Access" check-in.
The half-hour wait to get through "Elite Access" security.
The surly, be-gloved "security" people.
Anthrax?
Or government support of the petro-chemical industry?
The people moving like cattle, having bought the fear.
The fear that is our opiate.
Beamed out every second via ever-present flat panels.

LOST.

HAVE YOU SEEN SMOKEY?

I lost "Smokey" last Thursday as I was taking her out for a fly near the Met.
Black and grey feathers. Blue/teal head . Red feet. Her head bobs when she walks. Coos.

Reward if found.

(My way of reminding one and all that your copy and art must be distinctive. Stock words and stock photos add up to a stock ad.)

Here's a statistic for you.

Since review season is in full-flower, I thought I'd remind you of this item that I found in BusinessWeek last August: "97% of executives believe they are among the top 10% of performers in their companies."

Lincoln. Your grand-parents' luxury car.

Lincoln, a defunct auto brand, is running an advertising campaign that is colossal in its aggressive stupidity.

It seems they are attempting to revitalize the brand (have you ever been in a Lincoln other than a rickety Town Car with 325,000 miles on it and no suspension) by trumpeting a keyless entry system.

Wow! Keyless entry! That'll make me buy a dead brand rather than an Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Cadillac, Lexus, Acura, Infiniti, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, etc etc.

There's a compelling bit of copy for you, "Starships don't need keys." Does the use of the archaic word starship mean to imply this Lincoln can travel at warp speed? Or that its drivers have pointy ears?

Starships don't need keys, my ass.

You know what? Starships don't need internal combustion engines either.

When helicopters hover.

During the Guiliani era in New York, that era of incipient Armageddon, few things were more frightening than when helicopters loomed over head, sitting stationary in the sky, the roar of their rotors serving as a warning, a growl.

These were the inexplicables. Was there a traffic condition? A motorcade? Or a Khassam rocket speeding our way? There were soldiers toting M-16s in the subway, at Columbus Circle, wearing helmets and riot gear, with dogs leashed and straining. And the helicopters hovering.

I bring this up because I always believed that if Republicans really want to win the next election--national, state or local--just send out the copters.

Now this comes across the news desk at Ad Aged's Washington bureau:

The John McCain camp has stolen a page from Der Doktor Goebbel's campaign manual--you know the one where Rosa Luxemburg was found dead in a river and the jews burned down the Reichstag. ie. a huge threat loomed around every corner--support Hitler, the security candidate.

What am I railing about? This: Charlie Black, a senior adviser to Senator John McCain, was quoted in a magazine interview saying that another terrorist attack in the United States would “be a big advantage” for Mr. McCain in the coming election.

Republican politics.

Blow up a Federal building.
Confiscate baby formula at airports.
Terrorize and demonize Islam.
Call Barack, Hussein Osama.

It's coming.

A private army (Blackwater) thrives despite--or because of--their crimes.
We have been made used to having to show our papers.
Soldiers are on the streets.
Helicopters are hovering.

My client meetings tomorrow.

WE OPEN IN A CONFERENCE ROOM HIGH ABOVE MANHATTAN. THE THREE WEIRD SISTERS CONCOCT A POTION TO KILL ALL WIT, WARMTH, IMAGINATION, INTRUSION. THEY TOSS MORE AND MORE INGREDIENTS INTO THE BREW UNTIL A DEADLY VAPOR ARISES. THEN THEY LAUGH AT THEIR VILLAINY AND ADD SOME MORE.

First Witch
Round about the Cauldron go;
In the poison'd Entrails throw.
Toad, that under cold stone
Days and Nights has thirty-one
Swelter'd Venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i' the charmed pot.

All
Double, double toile and trouble ;
Fire burn and Cauldron bubble.

Second Witch
Fillet of a Fenny Snake,
In the Cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of Newt, and Toe of Frogge,
Wool of Bat, and Tongue of Dogge,
Adder's Fork, and Blind-worm's Sting,
Lizard's leg, and Howlet's wing,
For a Charm of powerful trouble
Like a Hell-broth boil and bubble.

All
Double, double toyle and trouble,
Fire burn and Cauldron bubble.

Third Witch
Scale of Dragon, Tooth of Wolf,
Witches' Mummy, Maw and Gulf
Of the ravin'd salt Sea shark,
Root of Hemlock digg'd i' the dark,
Liver of Blaspheming Jew,
Gall of Goat, and Slips of Yew
Silver'd in the Moon's Eclipse,
Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips,
Finger of Birth-strangled Babe
Ditch-deliver'd by a Drab,
Make the Gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a Tiger's Chaudron,
For the Ingredients of our Cauldron.

All
Double, double toyle and trouble'
Fire burn and Cauldron bubble.

Second Witch
Cool it with a Baboon's blood,
Then the Charm is firm and good.