Monday, August 6, 2012

My new business ventures.

When I get down on the world, when I feel the world is too much with me, it is almost always the result of a feeling that despite all I do--both at work and at home--I am neither understood nor appreciated.

It is times like these when I feel like punching a heavy bag, going for a long run, or playing a couple hours of full-court basketball.

However, as I age, these physical pursuits are harder to come by. My wrists ache for a week after the punching bag, my knees similarly after a run and my whole body is torn apart after basketball.

At lunch today I had an idea.

I'm planning on opening up a business called "I'm Stumped."

I'm going to rent a storefront in the city and position every few yards or so a sturdy tree stump. Then, for just $20-30 an hour, stifled executives can grab an axe, a maul and a wedge and go at it, knocking the hell out of a stump.

I suspect if I can arrange the capital, the "I'm Stumped" concept will spread like wild-fire, with [ahem] branches opening everywhere.

I might even open another business. In this one I'll cover the floor in a thick strata of dirt and stone. I'll rent shovels and pick-axes.

You dig?