Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Three times.

I've been dealing of late, in addition to a lot of work and a good amount of freelance, with some personal matters that are rapidly coming to an end. That is, someone I've known for my entire life is about to kick the ol' bucket and pass the pearly gates. Or, more likely, the gates to hell.

That's well and good and what will be will be. And, as Michael Corleone said in "The Godfather" of Hymen Roth, "he's been dying of that same heart attack for twenty years."

The person in question in my life has been dying her slow death for even longer. And now it looks like she's finally, after forty years, telling the truth.

Naturally I talked to my spiritual advisor, my therapist about this, my therapist whom I have been "married" to since 1996. I talked about the chasm between me and this person--about our lack of reconciliation as she approached her maker.

I have tried to make amends, I said. I spent my life trying to reconcile.

He replied with his usual Talmudic wisdom. "You ask forgiveness three times. That's what the Talmud says." So I've asked forgiveness from her for the sins I sinned in her eyes. I asked forgiveness from my old man who was guiltier than I'll ever be, so guilty that his guilt spread over me. And I ask forgiveness from a god I pray to but don't believe in.

I don't mean to go all Jewish on you. But asking forgiveness three times seems like the greatest extent of what we should do in our lives.

Ask clients to accept work--three times. And then let them bury themselves in mediocrity. Ask agencies to promote you--three times. And then leave and leave them to finding three people to replace you.

Ask three times.

That's enough.


Jess Hutton said...

George, I think this is sane and wonderful. Freeing somehow. Thank you.

Jessicakgfa said...

George, I think this is sane and wonderful. Freeing somehow. Thank you.