Friday, August 24, 2012

Save America. Kill an MBA.

My older daughter is swimming a five kilometer race in Lake George this weekend. And my younger daughter returns to Manhattan after 84 days teaching scuba in the Caribbean. So my wife and I have rented cabin for the weekend for the four of us to have a family reunion of sorts.

My wife announced yesterday that she needed to pickup the rental car on Thursday. If she did so, the rate was $59/day. Whereas if she waited until today to pick up the car, the rate would be $179/day. So four times $59. Or three times $179.

Such a "pricing strategy" could only have come from an MBA.

Now take a look at this piece of shit commercial they are running the shit out of in New York. Don't judge it for its lack of idea or its corny cgi device. Try, instead, to unravel and understand what seems to me to be the point of the spot. That is that you get "a single pool of shareable data that powers up to ten devices."
Since when were phones, computers, tablets, etc. "powered by data." And since when was my phone called a device. I'm 54 years old. To my generation a device is a thermonuclear bomb.

Only powerpoint-fueled imbecilic MBAs could make sense of any of this.

And shit like this drives companies to ruin. Makes people hate them. And ignore their advertising.

MBAs don't get that.

Never will.

BTW, here's my chat with "Chad" from Verizon.

Please hold for a Verizon Wireless sales representative to assist you with your order. Thank you for your patience.
You are now chatting with 'Chad'
Chad: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service.  May I help you with your order today?
george: what does a single pool of shareable data that powers up to ten devices mean?
george: are devices powered by AC or DC?
Chad: I'd be happy to assist you.
Chad: Would you mind holding for a moment while I check that information?
george: sure
Chad: The currents are for AC. Also the shared data refers to the new plan offerings.
Chad: All of your phones/devices would have access to the "data pool" if you will.
george: i dont understand how that "powers" my devices
george: and what's a data pool? Is there a deep end? Do I need to wear a data swim cap?
Chad: The data package is more for internet usage however the phones run off of being plugged into an outlet.
george: so when they say powers in the commercial, it's misleading
Chad: The thing is smartphones are updated through the internet.
george: Oh. You mean from a software pov. But that doesn't mean they're "powered."
Chad: That is correct.
george: So, I'm not dumb. The commercial is.
Chad: Do you have any questions about our phones or accessories today?
george: Well, I would, if I understood your commercials.
george: It's like they're written in Martian.
Chad: It has been my pleasure to chat with you today! Please feel free to re-open the chat session if you need further assistance . Thank you and have a great day!
Thank you for chatting with us, visit our Online Workshops to learn more about your devices. Click "End Chat" to tell us how we did today via our survey.

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