Tuesday, June 16, 2015

I'm so damned politically correct you have to buy my lesbian yogurt.

There's a new advertising trend that is even more cynical and disgusting in its cynicism than most old advertising trends.

It involves portraying a person or people from some sort of "diverse" population, linking your brand to them and thereby hoping to get bonus good-karma points from people who are too naive or too something to mind your callous cynicism.

I saw two spots yesterday that exemplify this trend.

The first was for Chobani yogurt. It shows a carefully naked and winsome woman in bed. She playfully tickles the foot of her sleeping partner, who it is soon revealed is a woman. Then she pops out of bed and eats a yogurt.

Woo hoo! Lesbians eat yogurt. I support lesbians. Therefore, pass me a spoon. You can see the spot here. But I warn you about its cloying insipidness.

The second was a long-form piece of people crying into the camera about how much their mom sacrificed because she was a single mom. Somewhere along the way a super came up that said "She was strong and soft." Just like Angel Soft toilet paper. See it here.

Oh boy. Lemme wipe my ass with some of that single-mom double ply!

I'ma gonna jump on that ridiculous bandwagon.

So let's think for a minute.

One-eyed people and people with patches for Nilla Wafers (they're shaped like an eye-patch.)

Incontinent people for Drano drain clearer.

Midgets for Frosted Mini Wheats.

There's a whole host of groups who haven't yet been exploited.

There are the deaf.

The blind.

People missing limbs.

You name it.

Put them in a spot.

That's advertising in 2015.

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