Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Nobody asked me but...

Nobody Asked Me But is my periodic tribute to the great New York sportswriter, Jimmy Cannon. Who would write a column of miscellany when he had nothing else to write.

Here's my woeful attempt at imitation.

Nobody asked me but...I think GIFs, however they're pronounced, are stupid. When did we decide that it would be funny if we all told the same joke. And then repeated it. And repeated it and repeated it.

Nobody asked me but...I love New York. But eating outdoors on a sidewalk near a bus-stop is not my idea of gracious living.

Nobody asked me but...Whenever I see an article headlined "Discover the future of..." I always consider it an ad.

Nobody asked me but... National Public Radio news programming is a series of sponsorship announcements interrupted by press-releases and brief items on marijuana legalization.

Nobody asked me but...I don't trust any person who's not creative saying he wants to build a creative company. Especially if he doesn't even take the time to get to know actual creative people.

Nobody asked me but... The more I read, I realize the less I know. I'm reading this book now and it makes me excoriate myself for my ignorance.

Nobody asked me but...I hear a lot about design and its importance, yet just about every marketing communication I see is ill-conceived and ugly.

Nobody asked me but...The quality of writing is even worse.

Nobody asked me but...Judging by the marketing nonsense I read on LinkedIn, Kool-Aid must be the #1-selling beverage in America.

Nobody asked me but...It seems like half the world's logos consist of white type dropped out of a red box.

Nobody asked me but...Never take life advice from something printed on a t-shirt. Or from the person wearing that shirt.

Nobody asked me but...You won't be able to convince me to watch a gum commercial that's 2:34 in length. I tried once, it felt slightly longer than Sergey Bondarchuk's 1965 version of Tolstoy's "War and Peace." 

Nobody asked me but...The best way for a company to show that it's "customer-centric" is to give customers something entertaining to watch or read. 

Nobody asked me but...But apparently, most brands communicate customer-centricity by having bad actors dance badly and speak incomprehensively, and too loud and too fast.

Nobody asked me but...it makes sense to say why what you're advertising is different and better. So many ads are all story but no selling.

Nobody asked me but...About the best piece of advice I've ever received on writing a :30-second spot was this: "A :30-second spot should have about :15-seconds of copy."

Nobody asked me but...Most of the commercials I see on TV confuse me. I don't know what's being sold or why I need it.

Nobody asked me but...If your message sucks, putting a "learn more" button on it won't induce anyone to learn more. That's not a call-to-action, it's a call-to-clutter.

Nobody asked me but...It might be 90 years old, but advertising people and marketers would do well to remember the acronym AIDA.

Nobody asked me but...If you've forgotten, that's Attention, Interest, Desire, Action. 

Nobody asked me but...I'm not sure why that's not accepted currency today.

Nobody asked me but...Maybe they should come out with a bit-coin version.

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