Guess What My Day Was Like?

Thanks to Jon Soto for the cover art. And you really should check out Jon's tumbler. 

It's the most fun you can have online. You might also want to hire him. He's more than a little extraordinary.

AD AGED:    
Thank you for taking the time to speak with us today. It isn't often that our humble blog on advertising gets to talk to actual rock-stars.

HÜLD:
Du-ude. Pleasure to be here. We'll be at the Akron Civic Center, May 22-25. Then the Topeka Cow Palace, May 26-June 2. 

AD AGED:
So, Hüld is the world's leading hold-music band?

HÜLD:
We're the leading hold-music band--as important--we're the leading hold-music brand.

However, we prefer to call ourselves "Impresarios of Boredom." We're like a Zen Koan wrapped inside an enigma dusted with the inscrutable inanity of a fortune cookie written by Gary Vaynerchuk. No one can quite figure out how we do what we do.

AD AGED:
Or, I'd expect why you do it. 

HÜLD:
That's right. We have to re-invent the trapezoidal wheel every time we roll it out--for every hold music recording session. Do you have any idea how hard it is to compose and record a 12-minute hold music drum solo using only one drumstick? And no drums.

AD AGED:
Wow. How did you get into the hold music game?

HÜLD:
We didn't wake up one morning and say, "we wanna be the hold music guys." 

To quote our spiritual forerunners, John and Paul, we never said, "We Wanna Hold Your Hold," but one day, Otto, our bassist, was on hold and it hit him. We won't just record hold music, we'll make hold music a destination. 

We'll be a technology company that specializes in insipid dissonance. We're more than hold music--we're unentertaining entertainment.

AD AGED:
Where does inspiration come from? It must be hard to continuously find new ways to reinvent boredom.

HÜLD:
We call it "Ennuinvention™."

When we find ourselves out of our rut, Skylar, our manager puts us in a room where the walls have just been painted. Then all of Hüld gathers together and watches that paint dry. We do the same with grass too. We find a freshly mowed lawn, and watch it grow back.

AD AGED:
Well, thank you Hüld, I'm afraid that's all we have time for today. Good luck with whatever's next.

HÜLD:
We'll be at the Bloomington Enron Arena, June 4th through 9th and the Sheboygan County Heifer Fest, Sheboygan, Wisconsin June 12-22.