Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's a miracle how stupid this commercial is.


There's plenty of stupidity in the world.
There's no shortage of stupidity.
In fact, you might say, by and large, stupidity prevails.
To put a finer point on it, stupidity doesn't just prevail.
It runs roughshod over even the slimmest scintillae of not stupid.
Stupidity is powerful.
Stupidity is ascendant.
Stupidity is King!

I just saw a Miracle Whip commercial.
Lifestyle footage of impossibly thin and beautiful young hipsters doing things young hipsters do.
They jump in wading pools.
They share sandwiches.
They dance with jack-o-lantern smiles on their faces.
They take photos with old Polaroid cameras.
And more!

Here's what the VO and title cards say in this monstrosity.
"Don't go unnoticed.
Don't blend in.
Don't be ordinary. Boring. Or bland.
In other words...
Don't be so Mayo.

We are our own, unique, one of a kind flavor.

We are Miracle Whip and we will not tone it down."

The dumbest thing I've seen in a long time.