Somehow I came across an ad for a bed you could buy online and assemble by yourself in minutes. It looked ok. It looked well-made. It wasn’t extraordinarily expensive. And they deliver in two or three days. So far, so good.
I don’t feel that you are watching me, Thuma. You are watching me.
Then as if you're Soren Fucking Kierkegaard, "We call it Functional Luxury. For the Indoor Enthusiast." I can't figure out your capitalization system, why each line is punctuated, what Functional Luxury is or how you came to the conclusion that I am an "Indoor Enthusiast," whatever that may be. Or "shop the bed." Because I guess saying shop for the bed would derail the entire capitalist system forever.
"So I thought I'd pop on here real fast and give a review of this bay-ed, not the mattress...Anyways, it's not about the mattress, it's about the bed. [Knocks] Solid. Wood. Bed. So my thoughts on the bed. Weeeeee love it. That's pretty much all I have to say."
But then she goes on for three more minutes.
60 years ago, David Ogilvy said "The consumer isn't a moron, she's your wife."
But everyone here is treated like a sub-moron.
Keep doing work like this, Thuma. Yer gunna git in trubble.