I got an email the other day--you know, one of those pregnant missives from corporate--reminding me and every other employee of Monolith Advertising Holding Co., to either not do or to do some certain sort of behavior. Naturally I paid no attention whatsoever to the "content" of the note, but I did observe that the sender's title was Chief Risk Officer. How small is your penis if you need to be compensated by such a title?
The trend I'm remarking on is the proliferation of banal titles. Chief titles. Chief Integration Officer. Chief Strategy Officer. Chief Compliance Officer. Chief Facilities Officer. Chief Digital Officer. Chief Digital Strategy Officer. Chief Client Operations Officer. Chief Creative Officer.
What does an officer do anyway? He offices? He officiates? He's officious? (Sorry for the gender specificity but the dumber the title the more likely it is to be filled by a schlong-challenged man.)
There's a point here, I think, and it's about the demise of the original intention of advertising.We are no longer in the creativity business. We are in the managtivity business. People, ideas, relationships, spontaneity, spark, insouciance are controlled by faceless Chief Squash Your Spirit Officers.