Classics.

Yesterday my wife went to a discount store downtown and bought herself a collection of outfits the likes of which Zsa Zsa Gabor would envy. While she was there, she also bought me a pair of boxer shorts.

Of course like nearly everything you buy these days, these shorts have a label on the outside--I suppose for your reading pleasure. That label reads in all caps "CLASSIC UNDERWEAR."

Now, I'll admit, the shorts are darn nice, roomy in the "seat" and large enough upfront for my not inconsiderable manhood. But CLASSIC is a term I've always reserved for Shakespeare, or the Parthenon, or Michelangelo, or even, the Honeymooners.

I understand that underwear advertising probably necessitates a bit of hype, but I prefer my underwear understated.