Advice for a Better.

I have an issue with generosity.

I had such an empty childhood, I was so starved of love and attention, and praise and kindness, that now, about 20 years into dotage,I still feel that deprivation almost every day.

Who wouldn't.

As compensation, I am generous to others. With my close family--with money and love. With many others, with time and listening.

I hope to fill my internal void through the filling of others' voids.

That exchange never works out, really.

Because my lacks (and therefore needs) aren't other peoples'.

Nonetheless.

You do.

You help work friends.

You write book blurbs.

You advise people if they need advice.

You talk to them about business--even send the leads,

if something appropriate comes across your desk that

might not be right for you.

About twenty years ago, 

my wife traveled a lot for business.

Her major account was in California,

and she was out with her clients about twice a month.

Or more.

My wife is short. 

(Borscht Belt interlude: Life is short and so is wife.)

And would never be accused of under-packing.

I imagined her like Sisyphus, 

trying to muscle her Tumi rollerbag up into the overhead.

I was flying a fair amount in those days too.

When I saw someone struggling with their bag

I made it a habit to pop up and help them.

I am large of size and long of muscle.

And too mean to say I can't.

I know you can't count on karma.

What goes around doesn't always come around.

Bad things happen to good people.

But.

Kindness.

Not as an add on.

Not as a sometimes.

As a who you are.

That's a way of living.

That's a way of being.

That's a who you are.

Helping kids break in.

Helping clients in a jam.

Being there with ideas.

Being there with pain-in-the-ass-ideas

that maybe they'd never buy but will now

because they're in a jam.

Here's an example.

A tech client was having a trade show.

They called me for posters about eight hours before they had to print them.

"If you don't have them by 5, don't bother." That kind of thing.

I had talked to the clients--who over the course of year--

had become friends, about the fun and vitality of old Burma Shave sequential road signs.

In short order these were up at their event.

(Art-directed. These are screengrabs from my manuscript copy.)

In each case, #5 was their logo.

This isn't about the creative.

This is about coming through in a crunch.

Being generous with your mind,

your references,

your energy.

Your confidence that no matter what you can what.

This is about getting last minute assignments, with no brief, no scope and no time.

And no complaint.

And doing it.

Coming through.

And trusting that your client will come through, in turn, for you. Or some client will because you've put enough good into the world.

Long ago Steve Hayden turned a client over to me. I still work with them almost seven years later.

One afternoon, Steve called me and asked how it was going.

I answered, "He just called me up for help writing a eulogy."

Steve said, "I'd say that's pretty good."

Somewhere along the way we went from serving our clients to serving ourselves, our egos and our corporate overlords. 

We forgot that the greatest emanation is to be the first call a client makes when they're up a tree without a paddle. 

Don't call McKinsey.

Call McGeorgie.

It takes a lot of coming through, a lot of unpaid sweat to earn that position.

I'm sure the aforementioned McKinsey would say the KPIs and ROIs and WTFs of generosity are all not properly metric-able.

Neither is 'do unto others.'

But there's gold in that there rule.

Go Fact Yourself.

Somehow, this seems more germane today than when it first ran 55 years ago.

If you want to piss me off--not that it's not easy to do--call me a "wordsmith."

I hate that locution almost as much as I hate contrivances like "job creator," or "big beautiful bill," or "operation desert dildo," or whatever the current administration monsters are calling our illegal war in Iran.

Copywriters are meant to make copy read well.

But we ain't John Keats. 

Though we could learn from him.

Abridged. 

The beauty we convey isn't supposed to be about the words we use but the products and services we write about. The AO (advertiseable object) is supposed to stand-out. Not our skill.

In other words, I believe we should be more 'detectives' than 'stylists.' What makes the thing work, not how can I make the thing sound pretty.

Most often when I work on a big assignment (I do about one a month) I spend a portion of my time interviewing the people who have made the product, designed the product, use the product and sell the product.

In other words: I learn about the product.

This forensic phase takes a few days.

After those days, I present the client with a document of "pull quotes," I call "What I heard." 

At that point they're usually as happy as a teenage boy un-hooking his first bra. 

They're fairly gushing at my words.

I'm quick to tell them the truth.

Those aren't my words.

They're your words. I just gussied them up a bit to make them easier to remember or shorter.

After that, selling them is easy.

I don't make things up.

I do something hardly ever done in advertising today.

I tell the truth.

I realize that put me far from today's ideal of becoming "part of culture."

I wouldn't have it any other way.

--

Here are 15 car ads, you've probably not seen before.

None by DDB.

That use actual details of the car to sell the car. They don't try to be part of culture. They use the product to sell the product.

Revolutionary.

The Triumph of Theory.

I don't remember where or when I first heard it, but it hit me like an avalanche. 

Mostly because it might have made me obsolete.

The phrase I'm talking about became popular with the rise of planning. 

Around the time the word "insight," replaced the notion of facts.

I was told and told and told then told some more, that giant purchases were no longer based on rational reasons why. 

Rather they were based on brands forming an emotional connection to people.

Brands had to be cool.

Part of culture.

If they liked the music I liked, or endorsed the causes I believe in, I'd like them.

I grew up in a different era where, I believe, clients and their agencies had more respect for the intelligence of their potential customers. They believed that not every purchase was impulse based. That if someone were buying something that cost a couple of week's salary, they might want an actual reason why one such offering was different/better than another.

Here's one example.

I annotated the copy below and numbered all the facts I noticed. I bet you know more about this 1961 Volkswagen than you do about anything Volkswagen has made in the last 30 years. Or longer.

What precipitated this post was an article I just read in Monday's Wall Street Journal. 

I read it before 7AM on Monday, and I immediately sent it to a group of my ad friends. Senior people of my generation who still care.

If I were an automaker, or I currently had a car-account, it would scare the shit out of me. I've enumerated two bits you might want to pay especial attention to.

1. "Look-Alike Range Rover." I underscored that because a lot of marketing used to be about adding value to a brand or a product by telling people what made it different and better. Anyone can make a car that looks like a more expensive car. If you don't tell people of the intrinsic value of your product or service, they'll almost invariably choose the cheaper look-alike.

Generics work for pharmaceuticals where the composition of a drug is regulated. You can't change the formula. It has to be the same. Generics don't work for products that vie for customers' dollars. But most advertising advertises generics. Most advertising fails to include useful consumer information proprietary to the brand or product paying for the ad.

This sameification of everything has destroyed countless brands--and just about every agency brand and every agency creative. No, it's not enough to say you're award winning, or borderless, or anything else. You have to find, establish, inculcate and own your intrinsic better-ness. 

2. U.K.'s bestselling vehicle in September. In September, 2025, Chery, the Chinese-owned manufacturer of the ersatz Range Rover was barely in the top-20 in UK sales. A year later, they're #1.

Of course brands like Range Rover left themselves vulnerable. 

They stopped (just as ad agencies and copywriters have stopped, and politicians and hotels and restaurants have stopped) telling people why they're worth more.

I do understand how these ads could get me to spend more on a particular product or service.

I am unable to fathom what these ads do to help a brand attract a premium price.

There are a lot of theories behind the decline and fall of advertising. 

If you ask ten ad people, you'll probably get twenty different reasons. Maybe thirty if one of those people is in senior management.

The fracturing of the media landscape.

The rise of the holding companies.

The demise of the commission system.

A lot of people will blame consumers. 

They'll say they don't care.

Can't read.

Don't watch.

Care more about influencers and peer reviews.

I don't really buy any of those reasons.

I think the reason people stopped caring about advertising is that advertising stopped caring about people.

Advertising stopped giving people useful information so they could make better decisions that would get them the most for the money they've spent.

Advertising stopped serving people and started pandering to them.

You probably think all of this is stupid.

But if you were writing your dating profile or selling your apartment, you'd probably find a way to differentiate yourself, to make what it is you have to sell desirable among thousands of look-alikes.

I wrote the ad to sell my Connecticut home already, though it's not for sale.

Here's the first sentence.

"We're as close to the sea as you can get without being in a flood zone. But if you're a light sleeper, beware. The sound of the waves and a distant clanging of a buoy bell might keep you up at night."

This is the shit people usually write:

"Meticulously maintained and beautifully updated, this exceptional home offers refined coastal living in the desirable Fenwood Beach Association."

You choose.

Napoleon Blown Apart.

About three decades ago, or ten amerikkan invasions of sovereign Middle-Eastern countries ago, I read an article in The New Yorker. A portrait of a high-ranking general who decried the current modus operandi of war. The infrastructure of how we fight.

The general, whose name I forget, talked about the amerikan war to oust sadaam hussein and he talked about the materiel needed to fight that war.

How we had to move thousands of tanks, thousands of trucks, thousands of humvees, ping-pong tables, air-conditioners, cots, coke-machines. Not to mention millions of tons of weapons and munitions and food.

He used a phrase that stuck with me.

He called all that "moving the metal mountain."

That's good writing. (Better writing than you'll likely find in advertising.)

I read this about the year 2001.

Moving the metal mountain, it occurred to me is an apt metaphor for a giant ad agency pulling together eleven-teen teams, 97 planners and 44 account people to concoct a pitch for a client that won't likely yield any profit for at least four years, by which time the account is once again in review.

Diego Garcia, indicated by the red dot. It's more out of the way than the Chocolate Factory
was when I worked at Ogilvy the second time.

The general proposed an alternative to moving the metal mountain. Highly-mobile units that can sweep in, apply irresistible force, accomplish their objective and be back on Diego Garcia before dark. The US and UK have thousands of troops on the archipelago, but you're more likely to get a straight answer from Cindy Rose of WPP than you are to find out much more about the deployments there. (Though iran six months ago iran launched two Khorramshahr-4 ICBMs at the base. We're told they did no damage.)

The iranian-built Khorramshahr-4 can travel at 16 times the speed of sound over 1,200 miles and can carry 3000 lbs of explosives.

Around that same time as reading about the metal mountain, I also read an article in the paper version of the Atlantic. It was about a fourth generation fighter pilot who was now flying and killing at that time in Afghanistan, and probably Pakistan, though that would have been omitted for various geo-political reasons. 

I remember the pilot saying that his was the last generation of pilots who will actually fly. It would not be long, he asserted, that unmanned killing machines will be run like video games from underground bunkers in Langley air force base under well-manicured lawns in suburban Virginia. 

This pilot talked about drones back when the word referred primarily to bumble-bees, not warfare.

I bring all this up because last week, humble little GeorgeCo., LLC, a Delaware Company got an RFI that was closer to the sort of RFIs that went out in the 1950s than what the world of advertising looks like today. As they used to say, Napoleon's armies looked more like Roman armies from 1800 years earlier than they looked like World War I armies from just a century later.

I have the sense that a similar dynamic reflects today's withering ad industry. Like the military proclivity where generals prepare to fight the last war, or in the case of pete hegseth, the rape and enslavement of most of the amerikkkas by spanish conquistadors (and small pox.)

In fact, the very structure of the holding company seems as outmoded and dated as an un-tattooed art director. The ad industry (that phrase is also spectacularly obsolete) isn't riveting in an age of welding, the ad industry is riveting in an age of 3D printing.

Many years ago, and I've written about this before, I read a bit by two-time Pulitzer-winning historian, Barbara Tuchman:

Disaster is rarely as pervasive as it seems from recorded accounts... After absorbing the news of today, one expects to face a world consisting entirely of strikes, crimes, power failures, broken water mains, stalled trains, school shutdowns, muggers, drug addicts, neo-Nazis, and rapists. The fact is that one can come home in the evening—on a lucky day—without having encountered more than one or two of these phenomena. 

This has led me to formulate Tuchman's Law, as follows: "The fact of being reported multiplies the apparent extent of any deplorable development by five- to tenfold" (or any figure the reader would care to supply).

On the other hand, comrade Lenin is reputed to have said, "There are decades when nothing happens, and there are weeks when decades happen."

In the case of amerikkka, and the industry formerly known as advertising, I'm inclined to agree with Lenin over Tuchman. 

So much has changed so completely. 

And there are three ways to deal with giant changes.

1. You can deny it and conduct business as usual.

2. You can deny it and fight to hold onto previous practices.

3. You can embrace that change and prosper.

Very few people and social organizations ever come close to path number three. One and two will bring you to eventual obsolescence either quickly or quicklier. 

Those are the choices followed by most clients and most agencies. They know something is rotten in the state of advertising, but they're used to it so they try to make it work.

It never works.

My point in all this, though oblique, is simple. The dominant complacency of the ad industry--the holding company--is almost wholly obsolete. Outside of enriching a few already rich men, I can think of no functional reason why anyone would need a holding company.

When Marion Harper, the progenitor of the first advertising holding company formed IPG, it had a reason for being. If McCann had the Buick account, they were shut out of growth in the automotive space. That's not good for shareholders. 

But if a company owned McCann and Campbell-Ewald, you could have Buick and Chevy. Buy more agencies, buy more growth potential.

Later when so much big business went global, a client like IBM needed a central advertising brain--located in New York--and a lot of satellite offices around the world to follow orders from the main office. No one at the time wanted 164 different campaigns in 163 different countries.

But those bonafide reasons have disappeared.

Clients care little about conflicts anymore. And very few clients want a world-wide "one-voice" campaign. 

So while the reasons behind the holding companies have disappeared, they dominate still the industry.

Just as the way the world fights wars has changed but we still equip ourselves as if we're fighting World War II. 

When the British fought the Argentines over the Malvinas (Falklands) the 430-foot HMS Sheffield, built at a cost of $25,000,000 was sunk by an 18-foot long exocet missile costing about $1,000,000.

$1,000,000 missile.

Destroys $25,000,000 ship.

This sort of change has happened in warfare.

And it's happened in advertising.

Do you really need hordes of people to write a pharma commercial or a Buick commercial or a Verizon commercial? No, but that's how we do it.

We haven't woken up to it yet.

Shelve It.

I thought I had it solved but it turns out that some problems can't be solved.

I'm talking about my book problem, my book buying problem.

Back about a decade or so ago, when my New York three-bedroom could hold no more books (each room, except the kitchen) was lined with bookshelves and each shelf, floor-to-ceiling was double-stacked with volumes, I made the reluctant transition to reading e-books.

There's a convenience there that outweighs their suckiness. But not every book, can really be enjoyed digitally. The books that can't, really, are the books that are too big or too map-filled or too illustrated to even be read while sitting in your favorite chair. These are the books that I spend my non-digital-book dollars on today.

Many of them are as large as a one-year-old, and you need a table in front of you to manage them. Those books you have to buy physical copies of. This week, for instance, a used but pristine copy of Bartlett's Quotations arrived at my Connecticut doorstep. You need this as a real book, not a digital facsimile. Sure there's an indexability to having a compendium of quotations. But the real beauty of a bound edition is the serendipitous joy that comes from random perusal. Each page contains at least one present. 

The key word here is random. The random and magical joy of finding something you weren't looking for.

In any event I thought I had solved librum inundatio when my wife, L, directed the almost-complete rebuilding of our Connecticut seaside cottage. Again, each room, each corner, each cranny and each nook was lined with bookshelves. I thought I'd finally have a place for everything--and perhaps everything in its place.

But now all those places have no place for any more. 

Even in our dark age, or perhaps, Dark Age, the thinking, the writing, the art keeps coming. And I keep buying.

It's all made worse by the near instant accessibility of everything. I must get six book emails a week. From university presses (their UI almost always sucks) to small independent book-sellers that seem to know my head with their astute and curofferings and therefore seem to proffer exactly what I'm looking for that I never knew existed.

Just now I got such an email from John Sandoe books in London.

I woke up this morning, and I'm traveling today, hoping to write a blogpost but having no topic. That's when I opened up the email from John Sandoe. 98.79-percent of people in advertising could learn how to talk to people with respect from an email with writing like this, where the audience is not treated like they're imbeciles.

On Sandoe's site I saw this book. 

I've read books by Edmund De Waal before and I like him. 

More, as I re-begin my weekly work of writing this blog, and I have no ideas at the ready, nothing burning me up inside, nothing to write about, I tripped over this title.

"How to begin" is the central question creative people face pretty much every two minutes for the entirely of their lives. (How to end being the other central question. How to continue being the third of the unholy trinity.)

Of course I bought the book.

I don't have any room for it.

And maybe not having enough room for books is the greatest blessing a person can have.

The Religion of AI.

If you believe as I do in ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny, that is the hypothesis that the development of the embryo of an animal emulates the evolution of the animal's remote ancestors, you may see similarities between the rise and rise and rise of AI and how modern religion came into being. 

Anemones. Just for the Haeckel of it.

Of course, I don't believe in the literal science of Haeckel's  debunked theory of ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny (ORP) but I believe that most things--belief systems included--are birthed through a set of similar steps. 

A child learning to ride a bike might resemble a person beginning to learn to ski or fly an airplane. Learning to read might follow a course not entirely dissimilar to how you learn to use the Adobe creative suite or fill out a timesheet on something called "workday." Similarly, a child learning to walk might resemble a large social organization 'learning to walk,' that is navigating its way through a new market or territory.

To my old but 20/20 eyes, AI is today accompanied by an omni-presence and a zealotry such that it looks a lot like Christianity from almost 2,000 years ago. A lot of what the world did as it adopted that belief system is just what the world is doing now as it adopts the AI belief system.

Here are twelve similarities I've noticed. (BTW, I'm working on this as an idea. It is not yet fully-formed, so go easy on me.)

ONE: Religion and AI are incredibly powerful and potentially a force for good. They can transport you (and all of humankind) to worlds of staggering wonder and goodness.

TWO: Religion and AI are incredibly powerful and a potential  force of Armageddon. Left unchecked, or without proper beliefs guiding them, they can destroy all.

THREE: Religion and AI are incredibly complex. Do not question how they work, how they've obtained their wisdom and prescience, just accept their rightness. In fact, to question religion and AI is dangerous and heretical.

FOUR: Religion and AI, like catholicism and protestantism, rule the world. All seeing 'market-forces' like the inter caetera bull of Pope Alexander VI in 1493, will divide the world between different AIs as it sees fit. This dividing line--which is imaginary-- is also law. What's more, it applies even to realms, lands, companies, and others as yet unknown and undiscovered.

FIVE: Religion and AI are not to be questioned. Even thinking about questioning their supremacy is a sin--punishable by essential excommunication and/or death or accusations of 'Luddism.' As Nat 'King' Cole sang, "you're the lowest form of human, you're a square."

SIX: Believers in Religion and AI have the only path to salvation, light and eternal life. Non-believers are destined to either burn or be enslaved and tormented.

SEVEN: Burning, enslavement and torment for non-believers is not cruel. Non-belief is so evil it warrants the punishment received. You're either with us or against us.

EIGHT: Religion and AI will run into people who have different belief systems and different ways of managing their world. But because a different way of living and thinking is different, our form of Religion and AI are unable to see or consider it. Different is wrong.

NINE: Religion and AI had high aspirations. As John Donne wrote in "Paradise Lost," religion was originally meant to "justifie the wayes of God to men." Likewise AI--in its original intent was meant to find a cure for cancer, alleviate traffic, help solve eternal riddles. Before long and via widespread and practical adoption, Religion and AI will be used primarily for fund-raising for Religion and AI and to make cat videos quickly and for IPOs (fund-raising.)

TEN: Religion and AI are so complex and inscrutable that only a few "priests," can understand their language (code or Latin) and speak to the gods. Priests/tech bros become conduits to the all-powerful and therefore must be all-obeyed.

ELEVEN: Religion and AI will create their own 'virtuous circle.' They will use their powers to make themselves more powerful and anything contrary to their accumulation of power is cum hoc ergo propter hoc is to be ignored, disparaged or destroyed.

TWELVE: Religion and AI will remain unchecked and propagated by those made richest by Religion and AI. The richest will promote and thereby get richester.

--

1493. Papal Bull.

We trust in Him from whom empires and governments and all good things proceed, that, should you, with the Lord’s guidance, pursue this holy and praiseworthy undertaking, in a short while your hardships and endeavors will attain the most felicitous result, to the happiness and glory of all Christendom. But inasmuch as it would be difficult to have these present letters sent to all places where desirable, we wish, and with similar accord and knowledge do decree, that to copies of them, signed by the hand of a public notary commissioned therefor, and sealed with the seal of any ecclesiastical officer or ecclesiastical court, the same respect is to be shown in court and outside as well as anywhere else as would be given to these presents should they thus be exhibited or shown. Let no one, therefore, infringe, or with rash boldness contravene, this our recommendation, exhortation, requisition, gift, grant, assignment, constitution, deputation, decree, mandate, prohibition, and will. Should anyone presume to attempt this, be it known to him that he will incur the wrath of Almighty God and of the blessed apostles Peter and Paul. Given at Rome, at St. Peter’s, in the year of the incarnation of our Lord one thousand four hundred and ninety-three, the fourth of May, and the first year of our pontificate.

 

2026. Silicon Bull.

We trust in AI from whom empires and governments and all good things proceed, that, should you, with the Altman's guidance, pursue this holy and praiseworthy undertaking, in a short while your hardships and endeavors will attain the most felicitous result, to the happiness and glory of all humankind. But inasmuch as it would be difficult to have these present letters sent to all places where desirable, we wish, and with similar accord and knowledge do decree, that to copies of them, signed by the hand of advertising agencies, pr firms and social platforms (which we own) and sealed with the seal of any trillion dollar valuation company and officers thereof, the same respect is to be shown in court and outside as well as anywhere else as would be given to these presents should they thus be exhibited or shown. Let no one, therefore, infringe, or with rash boldness contravene, this our recommendation, exhortation, requisition, gift, grant, assignment, constitution, deputation, decree, mandate, prohibition, and will. Should anyone presume to attempt this, be it known to him that he will incur the wrath of Almighty Altman and of the blessed apostles Amodei, Zuk, Huang and Musk. Given at Silicon Valley, in the year of the incarnation of our Lord two thousand and twenty-six, the second of October, and the year of our pontification.