Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Agency Lie "I Cannot Tell the Truth" Edition.

Wednesday Morning Stir
February 12, 2020 - 8:00 AM Comment

A roundup of industry news from around the web.

-Holding company convenes task-force to develop new synonyms for "being fired" CEO avers, "We need new alternatives to 'realigning to client needs' and 'reductions in force' and 'right-sizing.'" 

-New media exec in critical condition after monetizing eyeballs.

-Bucket manufacturer's CMO puts people in buckets.

-Creative agency, in "bid to align to client needs," "channel efficiencies," and the "new media eco-scape" eliminates all creative people.

-Holding company pioneers "paycheck cryogenics." CFO states, "this new technology will allow us to save millions in freezing costs."

-40+ creative director lectures agency interns without agency interns being present.

-Buick CMO found to be only human on earth who could possibly say, "I think I forgot to lock my Buick."

-2020 trends same as 2019 trends but with 16% more 5G.

-2021 trends same as 2020 trends but with 16% more 5G.

-2022 trends same as 2021 trends but with 16% more 6G.

-Facebook strikes co-op deal to sell customer-data flavored Peeps.

-29% of C-level execs who say they "have an open-door policy" don't have doors.

-Creative Director and winner of 15 Cannes Lions finally produces first ad not for Lego.

-Girl Scout cookies website cookies people buying Girl Scout cookies.

-Gary Vaynerchuk hospitalized for hyperextension of the obvious.

-Cindy Gallop blows up Michael Bay.

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